“Can we not talk about your sex life right now? That would be great. Come help us grab this, or you’re going to be the one explaining to Liam about how his expensive decorations got fucked up. He definitely won’t tie you up in a fun way either.” Ace glares at Connor until the man throws his hands up in agitation and comes over to help us.
“Spoilsports, both of you,” Connor mumbles, but grabs the opposite end of the cutout and helps us take it off the bed of the pick up and place it gently on the grass.
“Only five more to go!” Ace cheers and Connor groans.
By the time we’re finished setting up all the huge cutouts, my shirt is damp with sweat. I wipe my forearm against my brow, trying to mop away some of the sweat so it won’t land in my eyes. Connor is placing stakes in the last one while Ace holds it.
Liam’s house is all decorated for Halloween, and the custom wooden pumpkin that I had carved for him and Jojo is on the porch right beside the door. I can’t wait for him to come home and see it.
I take my phone out of my pocket, letting the exhaustion lower my inhibitions and send the text I’m going to regret.
Me:meet me at my parents in an hour
16
JERICHO
This was a bad idea.I think to myself as I pace my parents’ living room, wearing a pattern in the carpet from dragging my feet across it so many times.
My parents aren’t going to be back until later, they went out with Ema and Rodney to a new restaurant the next town over. I need Raiden gone by the time they get back, because I don’t want to try and explain why I’m seeing him after all these years. It's an unspoken agreement between my parents and I that Raiden isoff limits.I don’t want to hear about him, see him, or even think about him. It’s been working out so far.
Why this? Why now? After all this time, it should be easy for me to ignore his messages and move on. To not care about him the way he so obviously does not care about me.
The doorbell rings, and I freeze. My limbs lock up and I can’t move. I wait with bated breath to see how this plays out. To see if he’ll walk away so easily like he’s done multiple times before.
The hinges on the door squeak, and the darkness that has enclosed the world seeps in from the open door. I hate how early the sun sets now, leaving everything dark and dreary. Noteven a shred of light can be seen from the outside. Raiden shuts the door behind him, encapsulating the two of us in our own bubble. Away from the outside world.
He lifts his hand in an awkward wave, the metal bangles he has on his wrist hit together with the movement, the light tinkling noise echoing through the silent house.
I stay rooted in place, drinking him in like a man with an insatiable thirst that onlyhecan provide. His hair is auburn now, the strands stealing the overhead light and creating a halo effect around his head. Everything else about him is still the same, from the confident stature to the outfit he has on. A loose fitting, silky black top, slightly falling off his left shoulder and showing off his smooth skin and his collarbone protruding from his skin. The pants he has on stick to him, the deep plum collar a pop of color to contrast his outfit. He’s dressed for a night on the town, a date night at a fancy restaurant with wine glasses served by waiters wearing coattails.
“Hi.”
I stay silent, watching him as he walks closer to me. I expect him to walk right up to me, but he doesn't. Instead, he goes to the couch and sits on it, crossing his legs and resting his arms across them.
“Can you sit? It might make it easier to talk.” His voice is gentle, hypnotizing. Convincing me to do his bidding with a single uttered syllable.
I sit, leaving a gap between us so I’m not tempted to do something stupid. I try to relax my body, making myself appear comfortable even though I'm anything but. The tension radiating through my limbs is exhausting to hold onto, my body is in fight or flight mode right now waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Raiden takes a deep breath, twisting the loose fabric of his shirt in his hands, wrinkling the expensive material. Thewrinkle appears between his forehead, a slight divot that I want to massage out, take away whatever is causing him stress.
This close I can see his irises are not brown—the distinct blue color stands out against his skin. There’s a small ring of brown surrounding his pupil, the colored contacts don’t do that good of a job trying to cover up his eyes. I don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing.
“I talked to my mom, and she’s letting me move back in with her and dad.” His chuckle is self-deprecating and I watch as he wipes a stray tear away from his cheek. My heart twists watching the pain on his face, before I push the ache away. It’s not my place to feel bad for him. “I don’t know how to tell you this, so I’m just going to blurt it out.” He exhales noisily from his nose, the slight whistling a flashback from the past when he would cry and I would be the one to comfort him. Offering him tissues and drying his tears as he would tell me what’s wrong. He’s always been so full of feelings, too full at times.
“I left Josh, about a year ago. I couldn’t tell anyone and neither could he. The NDA we both signed for my dance company agreed we would keep silent until they approved it. It would make their reputation look bad. Like giving me a chance to be a dancer was something they did as afavorand I should feel grateful that they even hired me.” Raiden shakes his head, standing up and pacing the confined space of my parents living room, running his fingers through his hair and yanking on the ends. “What a load of bullshit that was, they told me they wouldneverlet me announce it. It looks bad for their brand.”
I sit there, just listening and watching him as he grieves the life he could have had.
When he turns his head, a glare comes from the bottom of his lip. A piercing. He had a needle shoved through his soft flesh and a dainty metal ball now decorates the underneath of his plump mouth.
“It looks bad because agayman,” the way he spits out gayhas me flinching, “wants to divorce another man who has been making his life a living hell for years.Years,Jericho. I thought I would finally be able to get away, to start over and actually get another chance to enjoy life. Instead, I’m dealing with homophobia because gay men aren’t allowed to get divorced in their eyes.”
I cut him off, not sure what I have to do with this. “I’m sorry?” I offer pathetically because if I remember right, he haschosenJosh, multiple times. He ran from me straight into Josh’s arm. I still feel the bitterness inside of me, tainting my happiness for years after he left. I thought there was something wrong with me. I wasn’t enough.
“No, no. God, no, Jericho. It’s not your fault, and I don’t need an apology. I was an asshole to you, and I’m still one. Asking to talk to you when I know I have no right, but I didn’t know what else to do.” He shrugs helplessly, tilting his head back to the ceiling and letting his head rest on his neck while he inhales and exhales, sucking up all of the oxygen in the room. “I told the dance company I was done. And I told Josh I’m announcing it publicly tomorrow.”
“That’s good, you deserve to be happy.”
