“I’ll meet you at my house after work,” he says, turning and walking through my bedroom door. I follow behind him, making a detour to grab the food out of the fridge to give to him before he leaves.
“Be careful, baby. And text me when you make it to work.”
“I will.”
I close the door behind him, resting my back against it.
I shouldn’t do it. Every atom in my body is screaming at me. Reminding me how much pain I’ve suffered. How much can a man go through before he breaks?
Me:i have twenty mins
Text bubbles pop up immediately, setting my nerves on fire.
Raiden:When?
Fuck my life. This is the worst decision I could have made today.
Me:nineteen mins
Me:meet me at lola’s
Raiden:Too public. Can we meet at your parents?
The ache that I should be used to be now returns with a vengeance. Even after all these years, he thinks he should be the one who controls how our relationship works. Not anymore. I might still harbor those deep feelings for him, but I refuse to let myself go down this path that has hurt me time and time again.
He can’t even be seen in public with me now? He’s too good for that?
Fuck that, and fuck him by default.
Me:no
Raiden:Please, Jer? It’s important that we talk, and I can’t be seen out roaming the streets. Please.
I slide down the door, feeling its hardness between my back and using it to steady me.
Raiden:I know you don’t want to talk to me and I understand why. But I really need my best friend right now.
A sarcastic laugh bubbles up, the cracked noise sounds psychotic to my own ears. He’s going to play the best friend card,after all these years,and he thinks I’m going to what? Give him a free pass to treat me how he wants and drop me at any moment if it doesn't suit him anymore?
Raiden:Please, Jer. Just hear me out, and then you can still hate me afterwards. I need someone to talk to that I trust.
That’s not me, that shouldn’t be me. We haven’t talked inyearsand he’s left me behind one too many times to allow this to go any further.
I lock my phone, feeling it still vibrate in my clutched palm.Even after all this time, I hand over my emotions so easily, trusting him to take care of them and protect them as if they were his own. The same way I would treat his if he trusted me with them, to help ease the burden he carries on his back.
That’s not my place anymore, he made his decision and he should be happy with it.
I stare at the clock on my mantel, watching the hands tick down the minutes until I need to leave and meet Ace at Liam’s house. Each second that goes by is another one wasted. A second that someone was experiencing their first heartbreak, or hearing the wordsI love youfor the first time. Important life-changing things can happen in a matter of seconds. Each one is more precious than expensive jewels.
I stand up, and make my way out of my place. Down the steep, concrete stairs to the first floor where my truck is neatly tucked away into the private garage I splurged on when I moved in. Ace is already waiting on me at Liam’s. I missed his call and he left a voicemail bitching at me to get my ass over there. He refuses to do all the work by himself. Who could blame him when he’s doing a favor for my boyfriend but I’m not even there to help?
The drive from my apartment to Liam’s takes about thirty minutes, traffic at this hour on a Sunday is a pain in the ass to navigate through. Ace is dragging a wooden cutout the size of him from the bed of his pick up, while Connor stands on the porch and supervises with a coffee cup in his hands.
“It’s about fucking time! Come help me grab this. If I scuff the paint your boyfriend is going to hang me up by my balls. And not in a hot way,” Ace says, shielding his eyes from the sun as he watches me approach.
“Is there a hot way to be strung up by your balls?” I ask, grabbing the edge of the wood. It’s a huge, hand painted snoopy with pumpkins painted all around him.
“Duh, Coco. Haven’t you ever heard of Shibari?” Connoryells, slurping down the last sip of his coffee before he sets it down on the porch and rubs his hands on his pants. “I’ve let a person or two tie me up. It’s so good, especially–”
