Chapter 20 - Becca - The Man with a Plan
Aknock at the door tells me Johnny is here, and that the front entrance must’ve been propped open again. It’s like the other people who live in this building have never heard about security before. We have security doors for a reason. Just answer your buzzer if you don’t want to go down and let someone in. It’s not that hard.
“Hey. I brought you a gift,” Johnny says with a grin, presenting me with a big rock. “It was holding open the door again. You should talk to the building owner about that. Maybe install some extra locks on your own door, so at least you know you’re safe if someone leaves the main door open.”
“What I should do is stand there with my bat and show people the bad shit that could happen if just anyone was able to get in the building. Starting with breaking their fingers. That’s what I should do.” I step over and put my rock on the bookshelf.
Johnny just laughs at my threats of violence. He knows the bat has only been used to threaten Alex’s cheating ex-boyfriends. Even if the people leaving the main door open are being idiots, that’s no reason to use my bat on them. It’s only for special occasions. Maybe I will take his suggestion of adding an extra lock to the door. This isn’t the worst area of town, but it’s not the best either. It helps that I live right next door to the gym Alex’s Pops owns. If anything happened, he’d have a crowd of trainers and fighters up here faster than I could snap my fingers. But his gym is not open twenty-four hours, so I still need to take care of myself for the night shift.
“Cream ale,” he says, placing the six-pack on the kitchen counter. He’s been here a few times now, so he feels comfortable making himself at home, and that’s how I like it. If my guests aren’t comfortable enough to get their own drinks, then they’d better not come over. I don’t invite people over so I can wait on them. Fuck that.
“Hmmmm, it’s been a while since I’ve had a good one. What’s this one all about?” Finding someone who appreciates beers like I do has been amazing. I’ve tried so many new beers since Johnny and I became friends, and so has he. It’s like we’ve both had different favourites and now we can show each other something new.
“I’m embarrassed to have to say it, but I wasn’t feeling all that inspired today, so I called Dad and he recommended this one. I don’t know anything about it. So we’re both virgins.” He smiles and waggles his brows at me suggestively. He even looks hot when he’s trying to look stupid. Who knew being just friends with a sexy man would be such a hardship.
But it is hard. No, that’s not right. It’s extremely fucking difficult. You try keeping up with day-to-day conversations when dirty fantasies about the person talking to you are playing on a non-stop reel in your head. It’s no easy feat. Not even a little.
“Your dad?”
“Oh yeah. I think he loves beer more than you and I put together. He’s converted the garage into his beer cave. He’s so proud of it he talks about it like it’s his eighth kid.”
It’s hard to forget that Johnny comes from such a big family sometimes. I’ve only ever met his brother Travis, but I’d be interested to see what his five sisters are like. I wonder if they’re all tattooed like Johnny? Or maybe they’re more laid back, like Travis? Johnny looks like a rock star. Travis looks like he wandered on stage on his way to the hardware store, and happened to pick up a bass and start playing. Sleeping Dogs is lucky to have both of them, but I wonder how that works in their family. How are they so different?
“Beer cave? That sounds amazing. You’ll have to show me sometime.”
Johnny inhales sharply and thinks for a moment.
“Yeah, that would be nice,” he finally says. “So tell me about this horrible date. What was so bad about it? And why is your mom trying to set you up in the first place? You don’t even want a relationship, but if you did, you certainly wouldn’t need any help getting a man’s attention. Guys are constantly checking you out.”
It’s cute how Johnny thinks guys check me out. I mean, yeah, they look. But they’re not looking because they are checking me out. They’re looking because they can see my scars. They’re looking because they know I’m Freddy Krueger. They’re not looking because they think I’m attractive. It’s because I’m a freak show that their eyes are drawn to me. My tattoos, while beautiful on their own, can only hide so much ugliness.
People just can’t seem to look away from ugly.
“She’s gotten it into her head that I’m going to be alone forever,” I tell him, without adding the reason she thinks that. “And, for some reason, she thinks she’s the one to solve that problem. But the thing is, she has terrible taste in men.” Not that I’d expect her to choose those same men for herself. She is, after all, attempting to get me to ‘settle’ for someone. She doesn’t think a quality man would want me, so the men she finds for me are not quality.
“Well, can’t you just talk to her about it? Let her know that you’re fine and happy the way you are?”
My shoulders drop as a sigh escapes me. I know from past conversations that Johnny is close with his family. They talk to each other all the time. They see each other frequently. They take each other into consideration. I don’t know how to explain that it’s not like that with my mom. She’d probably prefer not to consider me at all.
“My mom and I… well, we have different ideas about how involved she needs to be in my life. And very different ideas on how grateful I should be about her involvement. Sometimes it’s easier to just go along with her than it is to argue. She’s a master at manipulating me and making me feel guilty.”
Johnny nods knowingly. “Ah, yes. Guilt, a mother’s favourite weapon. I’m familiar with that as well.”
I’m having a hard time reconciling what he’s told me about his mother with the kind of manipulation and guilt my mother is a fan of wielding, but I take his word for it. I can’t explain how my mother is probably so much worse without going into the details of what she guilts me with, and I’m not going to do that. He doesn’t need to know that I drove my father away. Or that I ruined my mother’s life with my clumsiness.
“Yup, so I’m just dealing with it as best I can. I’ll go on the horrible dates, and hopefully someday soon, she gets over this need to see me paired up and she’ll let me get on with my life.”
Johnny finishes his beer, and cracks open another.
“Okay, hear me out. What if there was a better way than ‘wait and see’?” he asks. “I think I have an idea, but it’s a little out there. It will work though, and it will be a hell of a lot faster than waiting and hoping she loses interest.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“What if you already had a boyfriend?”
I snort out a laugh. “I’m sorry, what? I never want to see any of those guys again, let alone allow one of them to be my boyfriend.” Johnny must be drunk if he thinks I’d allow any of those guys into my life.
“No, not them. Me. Let me be your boyfriend.” He looks sincere. And eager. It’s those puppy dog eyes again. I’m so weak against his puppy dog eyes.
