I sit heavily in the chair beside Mrs. Martin. It doesn’t pass my notice that the captain referred to me as Officer Ryan again, but I can’t get my hopes up just yet. Maybe he’s just calling me that because Mrs. Martin is here.
“Hello Officer Ryan,” Mrs. Martin says. “I’m sure you’re not thrilled to see me, after I didn’t press charges against my husband and he got you kicked off the force.”
“Mrs. Martin came in with the group of older ladies out in the main office,” Captain Ross explains.
“Oh?” I ask. She came with the titty club? Why on earth would she have come in with them? “I don’t understand what that has to do with me, or even with Mrs. Martin.”
“Those lovely ladies were setting up some kind of party at a neighbour’s house. They accidentally shot my house with an abundance of glittery penises, which, I’m sure you can imagine, enraged my husband. The security footage shows him threatening the ladies, so he was arrested. I got the idea that maybe the neighbour had footage going far enough back to clear your name and allow me to press charges against my husband without fear of repercussions. He’s always been so careful to have no witnesses for the way he treated me, but actual video recordings would be a tremendous advantage for me.”
Shit. Did they have footage of Aiden and Johnny making the big lawn dick? That could turn out poorly for them.
“They have footage that clearly shows the assault of Mrs. Martin, as well as the ensuing, completely reasonable and by the book, arrest of Mr. Martin. Once the Commission reviews the footage, which I have already made several copies of, you will be reinstated and will resume your regular duties with Officer Cross as your partner.” The captain looks pleased. “He is terrible at paperwork. It will be nice to have you back to keep him in line.”
That thought doesn’t please me as much as I thought it would. I’m not sure I want back on the force now. I have a lot to think about when I get home. But I tip my head politely all the same. No sense in talking to the captain about it yet.
I look at Mrs. Martin. She looks as though she’s been crying, but there is a sense of calm about her that wasn’t there last time I saw her.
“Mrs. Martin?” I ask. “Are you going to be safe now? Do you need somewhere to go?”
She reaches over and pats my hand. “You are so sweet, dear. I mean, Officer.” She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “I’m not entirely sure where I will go, but I would think I should be safe enough at the house tonight, at least. Captain Ross said that my husband will remain in custody tonight?” He nods at her question. “So I’ll go there tonight and I guess I’ll figure something else out tomorrow.”
“I think I might have a better idea,” I say, a thought forming in my head. “How do you feel about ladies’ clubs?”
She looks at me quizzically as I stand. “Come on, let me introduce you to some friends of mine.” I turn to the Captain. “I look forward to hearing from you when the police commission reviews the footage. Thank you for calling me in to tell me about this.”
Mrs. Martin follows me out of the office and we join the titty club, Kaden, Ryder, and Aiden, where they are waiting near the entrance to the building.
“How did it go?” Aiden asks, pulling me in for a quick hug and kiss. I’m amazed at how easy this thing with him already feels. It’s like we’ve been together for years, instead of a night.
“Good, I think. The neighbour had footage that showed the arrest of Frank Martin and it proves that I behaved appropriately. Once the police commission reviews the footage, I should be back on the force. I’m just not sure I want to be anymore.”
Mrs. Martin is standing beside me, hands clasped in front of her, while she looks at the floor.
“Hello dear,” Gran says. “I’m Delores, and this is Gladys and Lana.”
“Um, hello. My name is—”
“Cathy, you fucking bitch. You’re going to regret this. You can’t do this to me.” Oh look. Frank Martin is down the hall and thinks he can threaten my new friend. “And you old bats, you’re going to regret shooting me with dick confetti. Mark my words.” Just as I’m about to step around Cathy Martin to give that asshole a piece of my mind, the three ladies of the titty club form a wall with Cathy behind them.
“Listen here, you wrinkled, stinky, old nutsack,” Gran yells. “This lady is one of us now and if you try to mess with her in any way, you’re going to wish having glittery dicks all over you was the worst of your problems.”
I see Gladys nudging Cathy in the arm, whispering something in her ear.
“Piss off, Frank. I’m not your punching bag anymore. Have a nice life. Or don’t. Because I no longer give a fuck.” She smiles shyly as the ladies of the club wrap their arms around her and lead her out the door.
Aiden, Ryder, and Kaden stare down the hallway until the officer escorting Frank Martin drags him away. He’s so shocked by what his wife said he hasn’t uttered another word. The only sounds coming from him are sputters of disbelief and indecipherable gibberish.
“Okay, that was fun. But we have a penis party to save and cocks to construct. Time is trouser snakes. Let’s go people. Time’s a-wastin’.” Ryder claps his hands and rubs them together as he walks out of the building. “Tallywhacker-ho!”
I look up at Aiden. “Should I be worried?”
He grabs my hands and places a kiss on my knuckles. “Probably? I know I am.”
Chapter 44
Aiden - All Hands on Dick
“Alright cock-struction crew, listen up. Some of you will assemble skinny dicks over here at the kitchen table, some will do the fat cocks over there on the island, and others get to man-handle the monster dongs in the dining room, and the puny pee-pees over on the coffee table in the living room.” Ryder is directing all the helpers to their stations as we prepare to spend the rest of the night and on into the early morning, making dicks out of candy and baked goods. “You all have your ingredients and you know what to do. Make some dicks and make us proud.”
