“Alright, let’s go,” I say, but I walk in the opposite direction, straight to the bar. “Let me just top off my coffee again.” I twist the top off the whiskey and fill up my cup. It has to be at least half whiskey now, but I need the fortification. “Promise you won’t let me do anything stupid tonight?”
Becca laughs, “Who are you calling stupid, babe? Connor?” Haha, she thinks she’s so funny. “I promise I will watch you as best I can while I’m working. That’s the best I can do.”
“Good enough,” I’m already out the door. “Let’s go find that cute boy.”
Becca has her work cut out for her. I am halfway to drunk and full of stupid ideas now. Let’s hope she is as a good a friend as I think she is because I don’t think I’ll be able to keep my mouth shut for long once Connor and I are in the same room. My mouthormy legs. Daaamnnn, that got dirty fast. I like this whiskey. Too bad I know it’s not the whiskey talking. If I say or do anything tonight, I’ll have no one to blame but myself.
Chapter 11
Connor - All I Ever Want
The set is going surprisingly well, considering I’ve changed a bunch of stuff around on the guys. Ryder came up to me once and gave me a little shove, letting me know he’s getting tired of me fucking with the set list. But the crowd doesn’t notice that anything is different from what we’d planned. Looking out at them, all I see is a seething mass of movement. I can’t even differentiate one body from the next. The front row is still all groupies, and I still have no interest in a single one of them.
I will go home alone again tonight.
Being in front of a crowd this size is a rush. This is what I love about performing. I’m taking charge of the stage, whipping the crowd into a frenzy. I close my eyes and let the music take over, moving to the beat while I sing what I think is one of my favourite songs that I’ve ever written.
I kill myself with alcohol
And sex and drugs and rock-and-roll
But through it all I really want is you
You left me here without a call
But screw it
all I ever want is you
You’re all I ever want
(all I ever want)
But what I really want
(what I really want)
Is you
I try to numb the pain away
With too many drinks and too many lays
It never works, all I really want is you
All I ever want
Is you
All I ever want
Is you
As I finish up the song, a flurry of movement off stage left catches my attention. The whiskey must be hitting different tonight because I could swear that I just saw Alex over there, spinning around and running off backstage. That’s not possible though, is it?All I see when I look is a dark-haired woman with full sleeve tattoos and a camera. It’s not too hard to guess that she’s the photographer Denise mentioned. It must just be the combination of too many drinks, and the nostalgia brought on by adding the Alex inspired songs into the set list.
Of course that doesn’t explain the reason I added those songs in the first place; the Alex look-a-like that I saw in the crowd as the lights came up onstage.
Ahh, nevermind. I’m sure it was just the drinks.
