“And if she tells you she needs you,” I add, “you show up. Not as a cage. As a person.”
Kai’s eyes flicker. Something like agreement. Something like grief. “I’m trying.”
“I know,” I say, and I mean it.
We stand there for a beat.
Then Kai’s gaze hardens back into captain mode. “Next week,” he says. “Rushton will run his mouth. He always does.”
My pulse steadies into something colder. “Then we make sure the puck responds.”
Kai watches me for a long second.
Then he nods once. “Good.”
He pushes off the wall. “Film in ten.”
I stand there, trying to work through everything spinning through my mind.
I’m still clinging onto hope that Harlow can see through the mess and that we can find a way to make things work. I want to be there for her.
But only if she’ll have me.
29
HARLOW
When Wren knocks on my door Tuesday afternoon, I’m a mess.
I didn’t spend all night sobbing. In fact, I was proud of how long I held it together, but around three a.m., the dam broke, and the tears haven’t stopped flowing since.
“Oh, babe,” she says, wrapping her arms around me the second she walks into my dorm. “What happened?”
Sniffling, I try to find the best place to start.
How do you tell your best friend that you met a person online and decided it was safe enough to share things you’ve never really told anyone else? Or that you fell for your brother’s teammate, only to find out that they’re the same person and you just met them in two different ways?
“I never told you, but I met someone online. I joined an insomnia support thread before the term started and connected with a guy on there,” I say, trying my best not to cry anymore. “We talked daily for almost two months, but then I met Grayson and slowly started relying on the thread less and less. Only, last night, Grayson told me thatheis the guy that I’ve been talking to this whole time.”
“Did he know it was you?”
I shake my head. “No, at least, he said he didn’t know at first. He suspected it as we started hanging out in person, but he swears he didn’t know for sure until later on.”
Wren studies me for a moment. “Are we mad that he didn’t tell you as soon as he started suspecting, or are we mad because we feel like he broke your trust?” She shrugs. “I can get on board with either; I just need to know which direction we’re going.”
Running my hands through my hair, I start pacing my room again. “I don’t know. That’s the problem. I trusted him, Wren. I cannot tell you the last time I felt…seen. So wanted and important. I just don’t understand how I continue to have the worst fucking luck when it comes to guys. First Tyler, and now Grayson, I just?—”
“Woooah there, girlfriend!” Wren says, holding up her hands to stop me. “What we arenotgoing to do is compare this situation to Tyler. Tyler was, is, and will always be a piece of shit with a tiny dick who deserves to step on Legos for the rest of his life. Yeah, Grayson probably should’ve mentioned something earlier about thinking you guys might already know each other, but did you ever have any suspicions of your own? ”
“No, I mean, I don’t know.” She’s right, like normal. “He still should’ve said something. Anything!”
“If you two weren’t as close as you are now, do you think you’d have given him the time of day to explain himself? Or would you have shut down completely and just given him the boot from your life?”
Touché.
Sighing dramatically, I fling myself back onto my bed. I hate when she’s the voice of reason. It’s beyond concerning.
“I don’t know, Wren. I just don’t want to end up hurt like before.”
