He presses his lips together and claps my back before walking away and leaving me to stand in the waiting room with tears in my eyes and my heart in my throat.
Eventually, I settle into a chair on the farthest corner of the room away from Shane.
We sit in the waiting room for what feels like an eternity before Ash’s mom comes out to get Shane, glaring daggers at me the entire time.
He’s gone for all of about twenty minutes before he reappears, grabs his things, and storms off. Over the next few hours, the crowd dwindles until it’s just me.
Eventually, Gran comes out.
I stand. “Is she okay?”
She nods. “She’ll be fine. You should go home. Get some rest.”
“No. I want to see her first.”
She sighs, a sad smile gracing her lips. “You can’t.”
My brows pinch. “What?”
“Her mother’s not gonna let you see her. You might as well go home. You two can talk when they let her go.”
“No. I need to see her.” I try to push past her. “I have to know she’s okay.”
She puts a hand on my chest. “I’m sorry. Not tonight.”
A pat to my chest, then she walks away, leaving me standing there desperate to put my eyes on the only person I give a shit about right now.
I don’t know how much time passes when her mother finds me passed out in a chair. She kicks my boot with her black heel, startling me awake.
I lean forward and rest my elbows on my knees, rubbing my eyes.
“Go home.”
“No.”
“You’ve done enough. She’s done here. Hanging around like this is only making things worse.”
“That’s not up to you. If Ash wants me to leave, let her tell me that herself.”
“What is wrong with you? She almost died because of your stupid club. Is that what you want for her?”
“No. I?—”
“This town is a death trap. You can’t protect her from that. If you love her at all, you should be able to see that. The best thing you can do for her is let her go.”
She doesn’t say another word before walking away.
At first, I’m pissed. I imagine myself barreling past the desk and barging into her room. I’d wrap my arms around her, kiss her lips, and tell her I’m so in love with her. In love with every single thing about her. But security would try to stop me, and another night in jail might push me over the edge. Then, I think I’ll wait her out. I’ll stand at the dooruntil they discharge her, and I can finally get my eyes on her.
It doesn’t happen all at once, but over the next couple of hours, her mom’s words chip away at my false confidence. She’s right. I can’t keep Ash safe. My dad tried to warn me about what would happen, but I didn’t listen.
Everyone else saw it. They tried to tell me I was going to hurt her, and I was too selfish and in love to believe it, but they were right. I did this. I might as well have been the one to pull the trigger, and if I don’t end things, that’s exactly what I’ll be doing.
Sealing her fate.
I stand and leave the hospital.
After driving around for hours, trying to make sense of what just happened with Ash at Aker’s memorial, I finally head to the garage.
