‘If you think this is bad, just wait until Christmas is actually here,’ I warned.
He pulled me towards him, despite the jostling crowds, and kissed me warmly.
‘I can’t wait.’
Even above the Christmas music from the nearby speakers and the buzz of the crowd, I could hear the sincerity in his voice. ‘There isn’t a single thing about you that I don’t love, Lily Williams, except perhaps’ – he paused for half a heartbeat – ‘your surname. That’s something I’d really like us to think about changing.’ Another tiny pause. ‘Someday soon,’ he finished softly.
It wasn’t the first time he’d said that, or something similar. It wasn’t a proposal, not exactly. But it was a testing of the waters, trying to gauge my reaction, to see if the walls I’d once erected were still there. They weren’t. He’d brought them down so effortlessly that I’d hardly noticed them crumbling away to dust.
The past six months had been a joyful time as we wove a space in our lives for each other. I had a drawer in his bedroom; his toiletries were in my bathroom cabinet. He loved my family and liked my friends and hadn’t even minded the extensive grilling Andie had given him over Skype when I’d finally introduced them.
‘I’ve been through tougher job interviews,’ he’d said, only half joking, when we finally ended the call. ‘Do you think I passed the test?’
I climbed on to his lap, curling my body against his – one of my new favourite positions – although there were a couple of new bedroom ones that threatened to knock it off the number one spot.
‘Absolutely,’ I told him, nuzzling his neck and breathing in his aftershave. ‘Andie would have told you if she’d thought you were a waste of space. She has no filter, and she’s always had my back.’
‘For that reason alone, I already love her.’
And when they eventually met, I had no doubt the feeling would be mutual.
‘I want all of your family and friends to realise how much you mean to me and to know that I’d never do anything to hurt you.’
They already knew that. If it came to a jury decision, everyone important in my life had already made up their mind about Adam. There was only one special person who had yet to cast their vote. Josh. But as he remained addicted to travelling and was rarely in the country for more than a few weeks at a time, the two hadn’t yet met.
We meandered from stall to stall, watching ice-carving demonstrations, sampling street food from vendors, and filling the bag he carried for me with unusual Christmas gifts.
‘Fancy a beer?’ Adam suggested, inclining his head towards an Oktoberfest-style beer tent.
I was about to say yes when I felt something tugging me towards one last stall tucked away at the end of the row. It was festooned with large, teardrop-shaped fairy lights which illuminated an array of snow globes set out on a long trestle table.
Adam’s breath was ballooning like a cloud from the cold, but he saw the expression on my face, clasped my hand in his and wordlessly steered us away from the craft beers and towards the stall.
Snow globes. In every shape, size and colour. As the stall holder dealt with another customer who had his back to us, I stepped a little closer, my gaze running over the variety of snow-trapped scenes.
Janette Baker, our old neighbour and Josh’s foster mum, had been an avid collector. ‘For some people it’s china teapots, but for me it’s snow globes,’ I could remember her telling me once, when I’d admired the kitchen dresser which displayed her not inconsiderable collection. Even now, years after her death, I couldn’t pass a snow globe without thinking of her.
My eye was caught by a particularly amusing globe near the front of the stand. I plucked it up, smiling broadly at the cheerfully grinning polar bear who was having to endure yet another blizzard.
‘Very cute,’ said Adam.
I’d told him about Josh – well, as much as I thought he needed to know – but I’d never mentioned Janette or her hobby.
‘Would you like it?’ Adam asked, his hand already halfway towards his wallet.
I hesitated for a moment. ‘No. It just made me remember—’
‘Lily!’ The customer who’d been in front of us at the stall turned around so fast it made my own head spin.
‘Lily,’ he cried again, putting down the globe he’d been holding as his arms reached for me.
I didn’t remember letting go of Adam’s hand, but I must have done. Because there wasn’t a tug of war as the man I’d once loved and the one I did now pulled me between them.
‘Josh!’ I exclaimed as he encircled me in an enormous hug, so huge it lifted me off my feet. He held me tighter than Adam did; his cheek was scratchy with stubble, which itched compared to my boyfriend’s smooth skin. There was little difference in their heights, but Josh’s thick parka made him seem broader and taller than Adam.
‘What on earth are you doing here?’ I asked when he eventually released me and allowed some of the missing oxygen to return to my squeezed lungs.
‘Looking at snow globes,’ Josh replied artlessly, his eyes flickering briefly over my left shoulder to where Adam was still standing.
