“We will make it onto one eventually,” Cassian said. “Really, they can’t release the entire reserve of lifeboats with women and childrenonly.”
James exhaled a shuddered breath, his body beginning to tremble. He wanted to reply, wanted to beg Cassian to promise that his statement was true, but he couldn’t make himself speak. Instead, his next inhale rattled in his chest, and for the first time since he’d stepped onto the boat deck, he registered the frigid chill in the air.
“We’ll freeze,” he managed to eke out after another ragged breath. “We’ll die.”
“No.” Cassian pulled James closer and rested their foreheads together again. “Somehow, wewillmake it off this ship.” His grip on James’s arms tightened, and he shook James slightly. “Are youlistening to me, James Thomas Morrow? It’s still early. IfTitanicis sinking—which, regardless of the relative tranquility and order up here, I believe is happening—then whatever that sudden lurch was occurred over one hour ago. Which means that she is sinking slowly. We have time. We will find a boat that will let two, strong, capable men on board. I swear to you, we will. Do you understand?”
James nodded vaguely.
“Good. Now, we must compose ourselves so that we can escape here with our lives.” In one, fast motion, he released his hold on James’s arms and straightened his posture. Afterward, he let out a long breath of his own. “Come with me to find Ethel. Our next task is to see that the most important women here on this ship—the ones who mean something tome—make it onto a boat.”
It took James a moment to register Cassian’s instructions. He supposed he’d be carrying out the orders he’d received from one of the head stewards after all.
“Yes, right. Let’s go encourage Ethel and Mrs. Barrington to board one.”
Together, James and Cassian walked over to meet Ethel and Mr. Quinn, who were hovering a few meters back from where the officers were loading people into a lifeboat. Ethel’s mother, Mrs. Helena Barrington, was even farther back, perhaps onlyjustwithin earshot, her facial expression both skeptical and severe. Maybe even a smidgeon irate.
All throughout the time that James had spent with Ethel and her mother earlier that night, James had sensed some tension between them. He hadn’t had the wherewithal to really linger on it before, so concerned he was with where Cassian had run off to. Now, though, he suddenly remembered Cassian’s broken engagement, and he wondered whether that might have had something to do with it. How petty it seemed. Petty and yet monumentallyimportant to someone of Mrs. Barrington’s stature, even in the middle of the calm chaos.
If only the woman knew how serious this situation truly was.
“Ethel, we need to get you onto a boat,” Cassian said the second he and James reached them.
Ethel’s eyes flitted between Cassian’s face and Mr. Quinn’s a couple of times. And then, finally, her gaze settled on Mr. Quinn’s.
“I-I can’t board one.” Letting out a breath, she smiled weakly, and then, in a softer voice, she said, “I won’t board one. Not without you, John.”
James’s eyebrows shot up, and his eyes widened.
“Youmustboard one, miss,” Mr. Quinn implored. “It’s the Captain’s orders. It’ll make me nervous not to follow them. Even if itisonly a precautionary measure.”
Cassian opened his mouth as though to protest, but precisely then, Mrs. Barrington walked over, speaking to her daughter as she came close.
“Come aboard a boat with me, dear.” She pointed over to the lifeboat. “Look, some of the women we know have already entered this one.”
Ethel narrowed her eyes.
“You only want me to board one because John cannot,” she said. “But I’m staying here with him, Mother. And once we reach New York...”
She took a pause and looked over at Mr. Quinn. In that brief instant, it was as though the two of them had a whole little conversation solely with their eyes, and then Mr. Quinn’s mouth curled into a sweet, shy smile as he nodded. Ethel smiled back a bit and lifted her chin higher.
“Once we reach New York, John and I will be getting married,” she said, her voice imbued with a sort of shy confidence that James hadn’t heard from her before.
Mrs. Barrington sighed.
“Dear, you cannot marry Mr. Quinn.”
“Why not? John is a fine man,” Ethel said.
“He isn’t the sort of man who you aremeantto marry.” Her expression hardened even more. “You will not marry your fiancé’s valet, Ethel. I forbid it.”
All at once, every bit of Ethel’s resolve seemed to crumble. Her eyes fell as she lowered her head, her shoulders curling forward as though she was making herself smaller. James hated to see it. He’d only known Ethel for a little while, but he knew what it was like to feel the need to make yourself small. He’d felt like that around his family as a child. He’d never been able to please them. And they’d never thought much of him, either, no matter how hard he’d tried. It was one of the reasons that he had left home to become a hall boy and then a footman.
Cassian interjected.
“Helena, Ethelwillmarry John if that’s what she chooses,” he said. “Let her live her life. Heavens, ifanyoneshould be upset about her relationship with my valet, it’s me. But as you can see, I’m very muchnotupset. I want Ethel to be happy. Even if it’s not with me. And you ought to want that for her too.”
Mrs. Barrington let out a soft huff.
