Okay, enjoyable is a strong word with how I’m feeling right now.
Fine. It makes the drive fine.
The roar of the engine under my thighs is comforting and I forgo my helmet because… What’s the point anymore?
Pulling up to their apartment, I flip the kickstand down and kill the engine.Fuck. How am I supposed to go play with Tyler and make sure he knows nothing’s wrong?Running my fingers through my hair, I take a deep breath.
For Tyler.
Forcing myself to stand, I see the little man in question through the window and I can’t help but smile at his big gummy grin as he smacks the glass at me.
“He’s here, Tyler, Uncle Ty is here. Calm down, please, my god.” Asher’s baritone voice is clear out here and I chuckle.
This is my family. It’s always been, and I… I need to lean on them a little now.
“Thank fuck you’re here. We told him you were coming and it was the only way he’d let Jade go. But you took your sweet time.” Asher opens the door quickly, kicking his leg out a little bit so the baby toddler doesn’t run out the front door.
“I got here in under 15 minutes, Asher,” I say calmly, pushing through the door and picking up my godson. Fuck, I love this kid so much. He’s got big blue eyes like his Dad, but this gorgeous blonde hair like Jade. He’s so sweet and loving, and to be honest, I didn’t know if I was going to be good with babies. But Jade and Asher handed me this tiny little human and said, “This is yourgodson, we named him after you,” and I felt tears silently fall down my face. Since then, he’s been my boy.
“Tyler!” I say happily, turning in a circle with a big, forced smile on my face. “How are you, my little dude?”
He prattles off a lot of toddler jargon, and I catch only a few words–enough to know that he’s trying to tattle on Asher– but I nod along.
“Oh man, did he really do that to you?” I ask, shaking my head dramatically. “I’ll talk to him okay?”
“Otay,” Tyler says, leaning in to hug me before scampering down to go run and play in his room.
“You know, it’s not fair that he loves you so much and I’m the one he yells at.” Asher shuts the door before heading to their little kitchenette and grabbing us some beers.
“He’s my boy. You know that. Don’t be jealous of our bond,” I chuckle, taking the beer from him and finally–finally–letting all the forced joking and smiles drop from my face. “I’ve got this, man, you can go meet with Jade.”
Asher shakes his head quickly. “Yeah, that’s not happening. After you told us, Jade and I changed plans. She’s going out tonight, and I’m staying home. Boys night.”
“Fuck man, I’m sorry.”
“There’s absolutely nothing to be sorry for. Tell me what happened.”
I sigh, clenching my jaw and trying so hard to not break.
But he’s my brother, and Ineedhelp.
The beer finds a place on the countertop and I scrub my face harshly, leaning forward so my forehead rests on my forearms.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Asher says quickly, walking over to the side of the island I’m sitting on and putting his hand on my shoulder. “Talk to me.”
“I can’t, I don’t…”I don’t know what to say.
“You love her, Ty. You always have.”
“I know.” I nod, my forehead rubbing against my shirt sleeves.
“I caught a little bit of what happened from when Roxie called Jade in a panic, but do you want to tell me?” Asher asks gently, and I want to hug the guy for giving me space to explain my side. But honestly, he knows everything.
“I finally told her what I did. Why I did it. What I had to do to keep us all safe.”
Asher nods, pursing his lips as he walks back to the other side of the kitchen, leaning his hip against the counter.
“Ah.”
