“I knew you’d react like this. Disappointed. Disgusted,” he spits the words at me, pushing back on his feet and standing above me. “Why do you think I’ve stayed away from you for so long, Roxie? Because I didn’t want you?” He shakes his head and laughs humorlessly. “No, I stayed away because I realized justhow easy it was for me to lose control. What happens if I got mad and hurt you?”
What?Shock has to be evident on my face as recoil.That’s… That’s what he’s scared of? The man who has never raised a hand to me in annoyance, let alone anger, was worried he might lose control around me?
“Ty,” I start to say, but there’s a piercingriiiiingthat sounds throughout the apartment.
Ty swallows hard, his eyes downcast as if he’s assuming that I agree with him. My stomach turns with guilt and my blood turns cold in my veins as if Ihaveto do something. I have to pay him back. But how? Can I?
I’m not worth the pain he put himself through.
Ty walks over to where his phone is ringing and answers it quickly. “Si?”
My mind is swimming and filled with guilt. Overwhelming guilt. It’s all I can think of. All I can understand. All I am… Guilt.
It should’ve been me,keeps repeating in my mind.It should’ve been me, it should’ve been me, it should’ve been me.
“Yeah, Ashe, we’ll be there soon. I, uh, I told her,” Ty says, turning his back to me as he speaks.
Asher knows? Asher knows and let me think…
I have to get out of here.
CHAPTER 43
I’m pretty surethis is what dying feels like.
This is what I deserve. After all those years of holding back and not telling her, but selfishly being there, watching and waiting over her. I should’ve told her sooner. Let her free like she asked.
But I’m a selfish asshole and I needed her.
Ineedher.
“She just left,” I say into the phone, completely monotone and dead.
“What?” Asher asks quickly, and suddenly starts talking quickly on his end of the phone. I can hear Jade asking him what’s wrong, and Asher explaining all while Tyler is babbling, but I can’t feel anything.
Nothing but agony and despair.
She’s gone.She’s gone.
“Ty, Ty, brother, I need you to come to our place. Jade and I’ve changed plans, but I still need you here. Can you do that?” His voice sounds so far away, so quiet.
“She’s gone,” I whisper.
“Ty!” Asher screams in my ear and my world shifts back into focus. “Get your ass to my house,now!” There’s a command in his voice that he doesn’t ever use on me, and I can’t help but nod. “I mean it. Get here. You’ve got twenty minutes or I’m breaking the door down.”
And I know he means it too.
“Okay,” I say softly, letting the phone drop from my hand.
Asher and Jade don’t live far from me. I had made it a point not to move too far from home base when I was making enough to branch out on my own a few years ago. A good thing too because I moved out right before Asher met Jade.
And while Roxie and I have been intertwined since we were teenagers, Asher and Jade were fast and furious. They’re perfect for each other, and she’s definitely his missing piece. He’s no longer completely consumed by work and fighting for a better life, but more…balanced.
Jade’s become Roxie’s best friend, and looks out for her just the way I’d hope a friend would look out for my Roxie. I know Jade’s curious about the two of us, I’ve caught her staring at Roxie and me when we’re having a good day or maybe the flirting crosses a line. She so badly wants to know, wants to talk to me about our relationship, but she won’t. Jade’s good like that, letting me come to her when I need to talk.
I know in my heart of hearts that Roxie’s already told her every last thing about our complicated history. And Roxie… Roxie needs someone the way I need Asher.
The drive is a quick one, and the day is clear so it makes the ride on my bike enjoyable.
