‘Lily?’
‘No. I think you’d better tell me here.’
Concern washes over his face. ‘It’s okay,’ he says. ‘It’s nothing bad.’
‘Tell me.’
‘It’s just that I’ve been offered my old job back in Adelaide.’
The ground has opened up beneath me and I’m falling into darkness. Please God, not again . . .
‘It’s okay,’ he repeats, putting his hands on my arms. ‘I don’t have to take it.’
Light returns. Light filling me up.
‘I won’t leave you.’ He wraps his arms around me and I press my face into his chest, trying to breathe. ‘If you’re happy here, if things are working out for you and your career, then I won’t go.’
He would do that for me?
‘Do you want to go?’ I mumble. I pull my face away from his chest so he can hear me. ‘Do youwantto go?’
‘Well, you know I love Adelaide.’ He glances down at me and shrugs. ‘But it’s okay. It’ll still be there in a few years’ time. Who knows what you’ll be doing then.’
I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.
‘You might be a professional photographer,’ he continues, smiling. ‘A laidback Adelaide lifestyle might be right up your street.’
I can’t do this. I can’t go on like this. He’s looking at me, waiting for me to say something.
‘Or I might be married.’ My voice is barely audible.
He chuckles, misunderstanding me. ‘Oh yeah? To whom?’
‘No one you know,’ I say very, very quietly.
The smile leaves his face and he regards me gravely. ‘Lily?’ He’s uncomprehending. ‘What’s going on?’
‘I have a boyfriend,’ I whisper. ‘He’s asked me to marry him.’
Ben drops my arms and steps away from me, his eyes never leaving my face.
‘No.’
I nod. ‘It’s true.’
‘You’re engaged? No.’ He rubs his head, disbelieving.
‘He asked me a couple of months ago. Before I found you again.’
‘And you nevertoldme!’ he exclaims, hurt written all over his face.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘You’re not joking, are you? This isn’t some sort of sick revenge you’re getting on me for what I did years ago?’
He’s still looking bemused, trying to work out what’s happening, but I can see that he’s slowly beginning to believe me.
‘Ben, I’m so, so sorry. I wanted to tell y—’
