It could have been in the restaurant.
It could have been in the park.
It could have been last night, or the night before, or any other night since the very first night.
Jae quietly takes a second step.
A third. A fourth. A fifth.
Until he’s close enough to touch me.
We argue silently, debating how this should go down.
Who will pull the trigger first? Will either of us surrender?
Me? Or him?
Who will break first?
It’s him. He shoots first with a sweep of his fingers on the side of my face and a quiet whisper of my name. “Riley.”
My defenses are falling. His voice is like the softest dress of silk chiffon, buttery and rich. Jae’s fingers travel through my hair, to take the place of my own hands on my temples. I am the buttery dress in his hands.
We move slowly like molasses, both of us trying to delay the inevitable because there’s something so sweet, so tempting about the just about to, not quite there, the almost time. There’s something so genuinely despicable about making me wait this long.
I fire a second shot—I put a hand on his chest. Who’s in charge now?
It’s the first time I’ve ever touched Jae like this, like someone with intentions, like someone with an agenda. His chest is firm muscle under the knit fabric of his sweater. Everything about it makes me want to lay down all my weapons and let him shoot bullets through me.
“Riley,” Jae whispers, his voice a steady battle drum.
A third shot. One more hand. I put my other hand on his waist, squeezing his hip bone. I weather the fury of his fire as he rubs my temple in slow, soft circles. I am almost beaten down, on the brink of surrender.
“I can’t get the thought of you and him out of my head.”
“What do you mean?”
“You can’t go out with Rishi anymore.”
“I don’t ask who you’ve been going out with.”
We are staring into each other’s eyes, analyzing like we have done so many times before. And before I can unload my weapons and surrender once and for all, he asks.
“Please, can I kiss you?”
Sweet, tender victory.“You can do whatever you want, Jae.”
I confirm his loss by brushing his lips with my very own personal atom bomb. I kissed him first.And as it turns out, I am, by far, the winner of this long-fought battle. His kisses are the homecoming parade I have so desperately wanted. A kiss here. And there. The side of my face. A nip of my neck.
And I am blown to bits, regardless of my battle victory. I find myself kissing him back with such ferocity, I can’t catch my breath. Jae gives me a taste of his tongue and I abandon my own ships for the other side. He pulls me thoroughly into his own arms, wrapping me tightly in a bouquet of his warmth.
This isn’t like the kiss from Rishi. This isn’t like our kiss last week.This is needy and destitute. This is prying me open. With each kiss, my spine tingles and warmth grows low in my belly. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted in the last three years.
I’m ready to accept your confession now, Jae.
Am I? I grow hesitant with my kisses, and I jolt back like I was shocked with an electric buzzer.
“Oh my god. I’m so sorry.”
