“It’s not inappropriate. It’s…” He turned his face into my hand and kissed my palm. “It’s not.”
“You can’t make me feel like you have these feelings for me and then say nothing.”
“I said nothing because Idohave feelings for you! I fucking…”
His sentence trailed off, but I knew in my heart what he was going to say. I felt it in the passion of his words, his touch, his gaze.
My breathing hitched. “You fucking what?”
“You already know.”
“Why can’t you say it?”
“I don’t want to fuck this up.”
My hunched shoulders slumped. “Lamar…” I pulled his head down enough for me to kiss his lips. “Why do you think you’re going to fuck this up?”
“Because of my schedule. Before you, if it got in the way of something, it didn’t matter. But with you…” His lips brushed mine. “You mean too much to me.”
“You don’t think we could work with your schedule?”
“You told me time was the most valuable asset in a relationship, and I know I don’t have much to give.”
My brows furrowed.I did?
He must’ve seen the confusion on my face because he continued.
“The night we met, we were watching the game, and you said in football, in relationships, and in life, time was the most valuable asset to have and to give,” he recalled.
I nodded, remembering.I was talking about the game and thinking about Aunt Addy.
“Okay, yeah,” I acknowledged.
“That’s why I tried not to touch you”—his eyes fell to my lips—“or kiss you… even though I wanted to. I told myself we could just get to know each other better because there was no way in hell I was going to leave that bar and never see or talk to you again. So I got your number. I spent time with you. And the more I talked to you, the more I got to know you, the more I wanted you. But I knew how my time looked. So, when things jumped off by the river, I tried to resistyou. I tried to control myself. But it’s you… and I’ve wanted you sexually since I laid eyes on you, and I’ve wanted to take care of you since our first conversation. As bad as I didn’t want to fuck things up, the way you looked up at me and told me you wanted it…” He shook his head as if he were having a flashback. “I couldn’t resist you. And I couldn’t resist you because I was already about you. I’ve been about you since the day we met.”
My heart thumped in my chest. “I wish you would’ve said that when I was at your place.”
“Would it have made a difference? My time is still short. My schedule is still my schedule.”
“But saying nothing made me feel like you didn’t want to be with me.”
He held my gaze. “Being with you is the only thing I want.” Gripping my face between his hands, he brought his nose to mine. “You know I would do anything for you, right?”
Heat swept through my body. “I do.”
“I don’t want to fuck this up.”
I nodded, brushing my lips against his. “When there’s love and respect for what you’re passionate about, you won’t fuck it up.” I paused. “Are you passionate about me?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you respect me?” I whispered.
“Yes.”
My stomach quivered before the question. “Do you love me?”
“You know I do.”
