“Good morning, class,” I greeted everyone, standing behind my desk. “Open your books to chapter four…”
When class was over, I watched AJ stare Gianna down as she was leaving class with Drea.
Gianna and Drea were on the heavier side and just as beautiful as any of their classmates. It made me sad to think they expected not to be taken out on dates publicly and not to be loved out loud. That mindset in childhood could stick with them and carry into their adulthood.
I couldn’t shake that conversation. I planned to circle back with them to make sure they knew their worth. Also, I needed to find out what they’d meant bypeople at lunchand if the rumor was widespread yet.
A dark cloud was looming over Tuesday, so I tiptoed into Wednesday, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
As far as work was concerned, Wednesday was a good day. No one mentioned that photo, that rumor, or insinuated knowing something about me. I hadn’t gone online because I wasn’t trying to stress myself out. But I knew it was only a matter of time before the bullshit made its way to Lamar and he found out about it.
And maybe that day is today, I thought as I looked at the clock.
I hadn’t heard from Lamar all day. I tried not to let any negative thoughts get to me. I reminded myself that Wednesdays and Thursdays were his long days. But as I climbed into bed, I thought about the woman I’d seen at my aunt’s hair appointment. Like Decca, Lamar may not want to risk the social pitfalls of involving himself with me.
Lamar’s new to the active roster, and maybe he’s realizing the extent of all this, and he decided that this is too much of a distraction—
“Oh, thank God,” I muttered aloud as my phone vibrated. I answered immediately. “Hey!”
“What’s up, Jazz?” Lamar greeted me, sounding exhausted.
Just hearing his voice calmed the chaos within me. “Just got in bed. I’m glad you called.”
I could hear his smile as he responded, “Is that right?”
“Yes.” I exhaled. “I needed to hear your voice.”
“I needed to hear yours, too.”
There was something in his tone that was different. “What’s wrong?”
“Just tired.” He sighed. “It was a tough practice.”
I rolled onto my side. “What happened?”
“I was off my game a little bit. Nothing too crazy.”
“Did you get enough sleep?” I wondered.
“Yeah. I went to bed right after we said good night.”
“Walk me through what happened that made you feel like you were off.”
As he went into detail about what had happened, it occurred to me that he’d told me about only a couple of rough practices—one was during the preseason and one was during the first week. And the scenario sounded pretty similar, but he was taking it way harder this time.
“So it sounds like you’re saying you missed the tackle. Am I understanding that correctly?” I clarified.
“Yeah.”
He wasn’t short with me, but I could hear his frown through the phone.
I smiled. “You missedonetackle.One.”
“I shouldn’t have missed it. I should’ve anticipated what he was going to do. It wasn’t the play. It wasn’t that anybody did anything tricky. I just… blew it.”
“You are extraordinarily talented, Lamar. You literally have all the qualities that make you a great defensive tackle. You can open-field tackleandrush the quarterback. Missing one tackle doesn’t change that.”
“This happened at the end of practice. My position isn’t cemented, so blowing my coverage was the last thing coaches saw.”
