There was a large white box sitting outside my door. I saw my name emblazoned on the top, so I scooped it up and set it on the coffee table.
“What could this be?” I quietly wondered aloud, before I opened the box.
Three dozen white flowers—a mix of roses, hydrangeas, and peonies—a diamond crystal vase, and a note were located inside. I grabbed the note first.
I know there’s nothing I can do. But I’m here. You already know you can get anything you want from me. Just say the word.—Lamar
My throat burned and my vision blurred.
I was in love with that man.
“Thank you for the flowers,” I told Lamar as soon as he answered the phone.
“I’m glad you like them,” he replied.
“Ilovethem. How did you— When did you…?”
“I wasn’t able to have them delivered to you tonight because they were about to close, so I came back to drop them off before I got on the road.”
“Thank you,” I whispered.
I wasn’t sure how he’d known those flowers were going to lift my spirits. But he always managed to anticipate my needs and make everything better.
And I told him to say we aren’t together.
29
“… and I told him to go on record and say we’re friends, so I don’t know why it bothers me,” I told Aunt Addy late Saturday night.
Mom and Dad were sleeping in the guest room. Monica had gone home at noon and was slated to come back Sunday morning. It was the first time since I’d arrived that I was alone with Aunt Addy to update her. And while I’d planned on going to bed twenty minutes earlier, when I peeked in at Aunt Addy, she had her eyes open. So I sat in the chair next to her bed and started chatting.
Her frail form was shocking to me because I’d just seen her a couple of weeks ago. My fingers gently rubbed her bony hand. She was staring at me, and the sparkle had dimmed from her eyes. Her light had dimmed. As I talked to her about the latest with Lamar, I found myself missing her—the things she would’ve said, the jokes she would’ve made, and the advice she would’ve given.
“What do you think I should do?” I wondered aloud.
I stared at her, and she stared right back at me.
“Even if the entire internet weren’t a dumpster fire, I told him I wanted to be with him, and he didn’t say anything back. I told him I loved him, and he didn’t say it back. And what’s wild is that both times, I felt him feeling it, too. I know it sounds delusional, but I don’t know how else to explain it. I couldfeelthat he wants to be with me. I couldfeelthat he’s in love with me. Maybe he isn’t trying to be in a relationship and he isn’t ready to say the words yet, but I feel it.” I paused. “As delusional as it sounds.”
She blinked.
I looked around her room. “Enough about Lamar—look at all these flowers.” I gestured around the room. “This is incredible! Those are my favorite.” I pointed at a bright mix of blue, lavender, and pink flowers. “Oh wait, no, those…” I looked at the bouquet.
Standing, I crossed the room to the mix of white flowers in thesame crystal vase that my flowers had come in. “Who got you these, Aunt Addy?” I plucked the card from the bouquet.
Ms. Addison Payne, aka Aunt Addy, the two most important women in my life speak highly of you, so I just wanted to give you your flowers and let you know you’re in my thoughts and prayers.—Lamar
I put my hand on my heart as I read it again.
My head spun around before my body as I looked at Aunt Addy. A hint of a smile tugged at her lips before her eyes closed.
“Aunt Addy? Did you know about this?” I put my hands on my hips. “Aunt Addy?”
She was asleep.
“Good night. I love you,” I whispered, before making my way to my room. I climbed into bed, still thinking about how I’d talked to Lamar before and after his practice, and he hadn’t said he had sent flowers. And since it was one o’clock in the morning, I didn’t want to call him and disrupt his sleep on game day. But I was tempted because those flowers and that note had touched my heart.
Jazmyn Payne:Good morning! I know it’s game day and you’re in the zone. I just wanted to let you know that I saw the flowers you sent to my aunt. Thank you. I know they put a smile on her face. You are the most amazing man I’ve ever known, and I am thankful to have you in my life.
