I almost putI love youin the text, but I didn’t want him to feel pressured to say it back. I didn’t want him to not be focused on what he needed to be focused on—which was the game.
Jazmyn Payne:Your talent is yours. There is no one who can take that from you. Do what you know how to do. You are not just valuable. You are valued. That team needs you and you showed up at the right time. I need you and you showed up at the right time. You show up. That’s who you are. So, show up today and handle your business. Play your game. Don’t worry about anything else but playing your game. You got this!
Sitting at my aunt’s bedside on Sunday afternoon, I watched her like a hawk until kickoff. My dad, my mom, and my aunt all watched the game in my aunt’s bedroom. My mom didn’t care for sports, but she wanted to be in the room with Aunt Addy. The four of us watched the Monarchs take the field on offense, and we rooted and cheered. Every time I looked at my aunt and she was awake, she had a smile on her face.
“Oh, my goodness gracious,” my mom cried out as the Nighthawks kicked a field goal.
“That’s it. That’s the game,” my dad concluded with a shake of his head.
I looked at Aunt Addy, and her eyes were closed.
“Addison, you didn’t want to see that nonsense, did you?” my dad questioned, looking sadly at his sister. Turning to me, his eyes widened. “That was a nail-biter! But I guess the better team won.”
I made a face. “I don’t know about better…”
The game was close and had five lead changes, but the Monarchs lost to the Nighthawks by three points. Lamar played extremely well, and I had no doubt that they were celebrating him. I wanted to look for the team interviews and press conferences on social media. But I wasn’t in the mood to come across any slander.
Jazmyn Payne:I see they had to try to double team you in order to keep you from sacking the quarterback. That is how you know you are a beast on the field and that your impact is felt. You are a difference maker. In the game and in life. So proud of you!
Lamar Anderson:I’m starting to think a pregame message from you is what gets me in the right headspace to play. And a postgame message from you is what gets me through a loss. Thank you. I needed that. And I’m glad Aunt Addy liked the flowers. I was able to set up next day delivery with hers so I just wanted to make sure she had something from me.
Jazmyn Payne:Well, that didn’t just mean something to her. It meant something to me. You are incredibly thoughtful and sweet. And I promise to send you a pregame and a postgame message for as long as you want me to.
Lamar Anderson:For as long as I want? I’m going to hold you to that.
Jazmyn Payne:Please do.
Lamar Anderson:Is it limited to just for when I’m playing? Because I feel like I need a word from you before everything I do.
Jazmyne Payne:Consider it done. I send you messages before the game because I want you to feel the way you make me feel. And I’d do the same thing if you were going into work, running your business.
Lamar Anderson:And you said you’ll do it for as long as I want?
Jazmyn Payne:As long as you want.
Lamar Anderson:What if I say I want it forever?
My eyes widened, and I read it three times. Even though my mind was sure he just meant he always wanted me in his life, my body interpreted his words as saying he wantedmeforever.
He has to know how that sounds.
Jazmyn Payne:I’d say consider it done.
Lamar Anderson:Good to know. I’m about to talk to some reporters and then get out of here. But I’ll call you when I get home.
Jazmyn Payne:Okay interviews! Do your thing! Win or lose, I’m so proud of you, Lamar. Talk soon!
Aunt Addy slept most of the rest of the day. I sat by her bed with a book in hand, but I didn’t read it. I just stared at her.
Ever since my mom had put things into perspective, I’d thought about Aunt Addy’s death differently. I was still extremely sad for me, but I wasn’t sad for her to be released from her pain.
“You told me that I was deserving, and if I was inspired by anything you’ve ever done, I needed to be inspired by the way you lived your life,” I murmured. “And I am. I’ve always been inspired by youand in awe of you. You always lived life on your terms. You always did things your way. You always made the most of every opportunity. You are fearless. Even now.”
Around nine o’clock, I went to my bedroom. I was feeling a lot of different emotions, and I didn’t want to unload on Lamar fresh on the heels of his loss. I didn’t want to talk to Nina about it because she’d just reunited with her man after his business trip. I knew Aaliyah was preparing for a presentation she had to do for work in the morning.
I’ll talk to them tomorrow.
As if he could sense my need, my phone rang.
