He held me tighter. “I got you.”
I tried to hold it in for as long as I could, but after being in his arms for a minute, the first sob rumbled out of me. For the next five minutes, he let me cry on his shoulder. When I was able to compose myself, I sat back and dried my face.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized, looking at the large wet spot on his shoulder.
He cupped my face. “You don’t have anything to be sorry about.” He leaned forward and kissed my lips. “I’m glad I was here. I can stayas long as you need me to. As long as I’m at practice on time in the morning, I’m good.”
“I’m glad you were here, too.” I rested my forehead on his. “I don’t want to keep you out too late. It’s almost seven o’clock, and I know you have an early morning. And even though it’s not an official bed time or curfew, I’m not going to do you like Quincy did Monica.”
It took him a minute before he burst out laughing. “Yooooooooo.” He rose to his feet and then pulled me to mine. “What is wrong with you?”
My lips curved into a small smile. “You know that was a psychological thriller.” I buried my face in his chest as I felt another wave of sadness roll through my body. “I need to get packed and figure out if I’m going to leave tonight or in the morning.”
I grabbed his hand, and we walked silently to the front door. When we reached it, he dropped kisses on the top of my head, the side of my face, and then lastly against my lips.
“If you get on the road tonight, call me, and I’ll stay on the phone with you. If you wait until morning, call me and let me know. Either way, just let me know something. I’m here for you.” He stared at me for so long, it felt like he was staring into me. “I… I’m always going to be here for you.”
We kissed before saying goodbye.
Blinking back tears, I called my mom to ask her to go make Aunt Addy some yams as soon as possible because she needed to eat.
“They are in the oven right now,” she informed me. “I’m staying the night with her, and that applesauce Monica was giving her earlier is fine, but we will not let Addison’s final meals be trash.”
My heart cracked, and my lips turned downward. “Monica thinks it may be sooner than later.”
“I do, too. And I’m glad.”
Horrified, I yanked the phone from my ear and then brought it back. “What? Why would you say that?”
“Because Addison hates this,” Mom continued. “As much as I worried about her always doing what she wanted to do, being so vocal, moving and shaking and stirring things up, that was who she was. Not being able to speak or move, being in pain, sleeping her days away, notgetting fresh air…” She paused. “Shehatesthis. This isn’t the life she wanted for herself, and when I sit with her and watch the tears roll down her cheeks, I know she’s ready to go. So that’s why I said it. And I’m sorry I didn’t consider how you would interpret what I meant, but I know she’s ready to go on to glory. Do you understand that?”
I was quiet, processing her words. “Yes,” I murmured, wiping my tears. “It was just…”
“Hard to hear?” she guessed.
“Yeah.” I nodded even though she couldn’t see me. “I’ve been mentally preparing for this all summer, but it’s still hard.”
“It’s hardest to let go of people you love. But know that I’m always here if you need me. I may not understand or like your choices, but I love you, and I want to see you happy. Always.”
“Thanks, Mom,” I whispered, my voice cracking with emotion. “I’ll see all of you tomorrow. Have a good night.”
“Good night, darling. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
My mom’s words stayed with me. I lay on my back, staring at the ceiling, pondering what she’d said.
This is probably Aunt Addy’s worst-case scenario.
I hadn’t thought about it like that. I’d watched the light in Aunt Addy dim, and everything I was holding on to, every reason I wasn’t ready to let her go was rooted inmyhurt,mypain,myselfishness. She’d told me from her own mouth that she was ready to go, and even though I’d heard her, I hadn’t heard her. And it wasn’t until my mom said it that it clicked for me the way it was supposed to.
I loved her so much that I wanted her to stay. But it was time for me to love her enough to let her go.
It was a sobering thought that rocked me.
I wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but when I heard the knock at my door, I sat up abruptly and froze. Waiting and listening closely, I didn’t move until I heard the knock again.
Grabbing my robe, I tiptoed my way to the door. I didn’t see anything out of my peephole, but it was late and I wasn’t just going to swing the door open. I waited another minute and then slowly cracked it open.
