“Yeah, they don’t put up with shit like that, not at a regular bar.”
She leaned back and raised her eyebrows. “Regular bar versus what?”
His cheeks heated, and he shook his head. “Sorry. Brothels, and yes, I’ve been to them, but not recently. I didn’t actually like it. Some of the guys in the military want what they get at those types of places. A long time ago, when I was in my early twenties and fresh on the boat, I went with some buddies. And yes, that kind of behavior is acceptable there because if you touch it, you’re paying for it. The women know it, and the men know it. You can’t be violent, but if you grab someone’s butt, you just bought time with them. At Aces, that’s absolutely not the right kind of thing to do.”
“So you went to a brothel?”
He probably shouldn’t have said anything, but he didn’t want to keep anything from her. “I did. I thought about having sex. I mean, the women looked good, and they were partially unclothed, so of course I got turned on. I was twenty, and it had been a while since I’d had sex since I was deployed on a ship. In the end, I chickened out. I couldn’t have sex with any of them. I probably shouldn’t have gone. The other guys, not any of the men you met today, they had sex, I just watched two women with each other and then left.”
“Really? So you didn’t sleep with any of the women?”
He shook his head. “I always felt awkward at those kinds of places. I don’t like audiences, and I know those rooms have cameras.”
“They have cameras?”
“Most likely, at least I assume they have cameras. The women have to be protected, so someone is watching.”
Her face went white, and he wondered if he’d said something wrong. Her eyes were on the ground, like she was embarrassed.
He blew out a breath, knowing he’d brought up the wrong subject. “Sorry, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
She squirmed. “It’s not that. It’s—“ she closed her eyes, and a pained look crossed her face.
He didn’t want her to feel bad. He shouldn’t have said anything about the brothel. God, he was such an idiot.
“I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. Honestly, I just?—“
Willa held up her hand, like she wanted him to stop. “No, stop. It wasn’t what you said. I mean, not about the brothel.”
Couldshe tell Cy what was bugging her? She didn’t want him to walk away before she had a chance to have him.
“It’s not that.” Her hands twisted together as worry filled her. She didn’t want to tell him, but he’d been so nice. He deserved to know what he was walking into. “It’s that I suck at sex.”
He blinked, then a crease developed between his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”
“I suck at it. I’m not desirable, and I know if we have sex, you’ll probably be disgusted.”
She tried to look away, but he put his hands on her face and kept her head still so she either had to shut her eyes or look at him.
“Did someone tell you that?”
Tears stung her eyes as she nodded. “I’m terrible.”
“I highly doubt you are terrible at sex. I’m thinking whoever told you that was bad at sex and covered their lack of ability by attacking you.”
Tears fell, and he wiped them away with his thumb. “Hey, is that jerk the only experience you’ve had?”
She shook her head. “No, I was in high school. We were young and had no idea what we were doing. I’m not even sure we really had sex. It scared us both so much we never spoke to each other again.”
“I’m sorry that was your first experience.”
“With, um—well, the jerk, he would tie my hands and force me—” Her voice cracked, and she couldn’t keep talking. Speaking of what Robert had forced her to do was too difficult. It had been humiliating every time he made her have sex.
Cy pulled Willa close.The abuse she suffered at the hands of that jerk pissed him off so much, but he didn’t want to show his anger. She would misinterpret his reasons for being angry, so he held her close instead of punching the wall. If Robert came after her, he sure as heck wouldn’t feel sorry about putting a bullet in his head.
He was still wrapped up in thoughts of revenge when Willa glanced up. He didn’t plan on kissing her, but the desire running through him was too much. His lips were on hers, and he couldn’t stop himself. So far, their kisses had been on the sweet side. This kiss was far from sweet.
Her tongue slid against his in a secret language only they understood. The kiss made him so hard he thought he might explode. He was sucking in air through his nose, but it wasn’t enough. His head spun as his desire kicked up another notch.
