“Jake?” Sydney said, stepping out of ourembrace.
“Yeah?”
“What about you? Did youforgivehim?”
My heart began to beat forcefully from just the memory of that last day, our final confrontation. He’d mocked me, beaten me to within an inch of my life, and when I was flat on my back with no fight left, Ray had attempted to strangle the life out of me. I was only alive today because he’d failed. What had happened to me was no accident. It was cold and calculating, perpetrated by a man who thrived on the pain of others. A person like that didn’t deserveforgiveness.
Sydney’s rich brown eyes watched me intently, her innocence demanding a response. I could have lied – should have, probably – but for the sake of my tortured soul, I offered her thetruth.
“No, Syd, I haven’t. And Ineverwill.”
20
Casey:Forgiven
After bringingthe kids back to Arizona, I lingered a few days at home. Just like Sydney, there were memories I hoped to recall and a person I needed to forgive. The woman who killed Darcy and Miles was barely a woman at all. Eighteen years old at the time of the accident, she’d also lost her life. Her family, in the throes of their own grief, had reached out to us at the time of the accident. They’d wanted to apologize, but at the time, none of us were ready to hear what they had to say. Nowwewere.
So I made the difficult call and arranged to meet with the woman’s family at a local park. Mom and Sydney had chosen to accompany me, and as we crossed the grass, the three of us locked arms in solidarity. We were in this together. Always. And what we found at the end of the path was not the family of a monster but grieving parents of a young woman who was missed just as fiercely by her family as Miles and Darcy werebyours.
Her name was Beth, and she’d only recently graduated high school. She’d been a student at the local community college at the time she’d made the decision to send the fateful text that killed not only my brother and his wife but herself as well. She was human and she was loved… far from the hideous beast I’d pictured in my mind. As they spoke lovingly of their daughter, I could feel the weight lifting from me as the anger begantofade.
Sydney had remained stoic throughout the short meeting. Even when Beth’s parents specifically apologized to her, she hadn’t uttered a word. It wasn’t until we were in the car on the way home that she finallyspoke.
“Iforgiveher.”
* * *
Ireturnedto Jake with only two weeks left before the end of the tour. He would have already been done by now had he not been forced to reschedule dates that had been canceled due to our family tragedy. I was ready to go home. It had been a year of such ups and downs that we both needed a chance to justchill.
After the emotional meeting in the park where I followed Sydney’s example and forgave Beth, I felt stronger and more determined than ever to reclaim the Casey I’d once been. Yes, I had bad days, but they were fewer and farther between. I poured myself back into work and spent more time around Jake’s crew, joking and hanging out. Even Lassen and I had mended our rift and were on good terms once more, even though I still took the opportunity to mess with him when the opportunityarose.
Most importantly, Jake and I had found our rhythm again. We were back to being a team. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed the playful banter and sexy innuendos until they returned to our marriage in full force. In a year of extremes, it was only natural to keep the trendgoing.
“You got a minute?” I asked, sliding onto the couch next to Jake and grabbing the pillow to cradle inmyarms.
He muted the TV and turned his body toward me. “What’sup?”
“So, you know how since Miles’s death I’ve been pretty erratic with my period, and charting my ovulation was all over theplace?”
“Yeah.”
That one word of his was loaded. I could see by the look of concern on his face that he was guessing where this was going… and he’d beright.
“Well, I haven’t had my period for a while, and I thought it was just normal variation but, the thing is, I wasn’t really paying much attention to my cycle because all my focus was onthekids.”
“Just tell me, Casey. Are youpregnant?”
Jake didn’t seem thrilled, but he wasn’t upset either. If I had to describe his mood at the moment, it was decidedlyneutral.
“I don’t know, but I thought all week I’d be starting and I didn’t. When I actually counted back, I realized it’s been eight weeks since my last period. I don’t know if I’ve ever gone more than six or seven weekswithoutone.”
“Do you feeldifferent?”
“No, not at all. I don’tthinkI’m pregnant, but I also don’t know why I haven’t started. Anyway, I was going to ask Dom if he’d drive me to the store so I can pick up apregnancytest.”
Jake pulled out hisphone.
“Who are youcalling?”
