I started to move. Slow and careful. Letting him adjust to the rhythm. Watching his face shift from discomfort to pleasure.
"More," he gasped. "Faster. Please, Elio."
"Not yet. I want to make this last. Want you to remember every second."
I kept the pace slow and deep. Building pleasure gradually. Watching Julian fall apart under me. His head fell back. His body arched. He made sounds I'd never heard before—desperate and needy and completely uninhibited.
"Touch yourself," I commanded. "I want to watch you."
His hand wrapped around himself. Stroked in time with my thrusts. The visual nearly destroyed me.
"That's it. So beautiful. So perfect. Mine."
"Yours," he gasped. "All yours. Always yours."
The surrender in his voice sent heat through me. I increased the pace. Thrust harder. Deeper. Hitting that spot inside him that made him cry out.
"Elio—I'm close—I can't—"
"Let go. Come for me. Let me see you."
Julian shattered. Came with my name on his lips and his body clenching around me. The sensation triggered my own orgasm. I thrust deep and held there, spilling inside him while his body milked me.
We stayed locked together. Both trembling. Both overwhelmed. Both trying to process what had just happened.
When I could move again, I pulled out carefully. Dealt with the condom. Cleaned us both up with gentle touches.
Then I pulled Julian against my chest and just held him.
He was quiet for a long time. When he finally spoke, his voice was awed.
"I didn't know it could be like that."
"Like what?"
"Gentle and intense at the same time. Like you were trying to take care of me and consume me simultaneously."
"That's exactly what I was doing. Taking care of you while claiming you. Making sure you felt good while making sure you knew you were mine."
"Is it always like this?"
"No. This is different. Special."
"Why?"
I thought about how to answer. Thought about the feelings I'd been avoiding naming. The attachment I'd been trying to deny.
"Because it's us. Because you matter to me in ways I didn't expect. In ways I've spent years avoiding." I kissed his forehead. "Because this isn't just sex. It's more than that."
Julian smiled against my chest. "I'm glad my first time was with you. That you were the one to show me what it could be. What it should be."
My chest tightened with an emotion I still didn't want to name. Not yet. Not when everything was so new and fragile.
"Get some sleep," I said instead. "Tomorrow we figure out what comes next. But tonight, just rest."
"Will you hold me?"
"As long as you want."
