"That might be a long time."
"I'm counting on it."
We fell asleep tangled together. Julian's head on my chest. My arms around him. Both of us more settled and content than either of us had been in years.
***
I woke up the next morning with Julian in my bed and knew I was completely fucked.
Not because of the age gap. Not because of the professional boundaries I'd crossed. Not even because of the complications that came with claiming someone under my protection.
Because I was falling in love with him.
The realization hit like a physical blow. I lay there watching Julian sleep—face peaceful, hair mussed, looking young and vulnerable and absolutely devastating—and felt everything I'd been avoiding for weeks crystallize into certainty.
I was in love with Julian Bianchi.
In love with someone I was supposed to be protecting. Someone fourteen years younger than me. Someone who'd walked into my life barely a month ago and turned everything upside down.
That kind of attachment made people vulnerable. Made them weak. Made them make stupid decisions based on emotion instead of logic.
I'd spent years avoiding exactly this. Years keeping people at arm's length. Years maintaining control and discipline and perfect emotional distance.
Julian had destroyed all of that in a matter of weeks.
And I couldn't bring myself to care.
He stirred. Opened his eyes. Saw me watching him and smiled.
"Morning," he said. Voice rough with sleep.
"Morning."
"You're staring at me again."
"Can't help it. You're beautiful when you sleep."
"You're beautiful when you're awake." He stretched, winced slightly. "I'm sore in places I've never been sore before."
"That's normal. It'll get better as your body adjusts." I pulled him closer. "How do you feel otherwise?"
"Good. Really good." He looked up at me. "Was it different for you? From other times with other people?"
The honest answer was dangerous. Revealing. But Julian deserved honesty.
"Yes. It was different. More intense. More meaningful. Like I said last night—this isn't just sex. It's more than that."
"How much more?"
I should deflect. Should maintain some emotional distance. Should protect myself from the vulnerability of admitting feelings.
But looking at Julian's open, honest face, I couldn't.
"A lot more. More than I'm ready to put into words yet. But more." I kissed him gently. "Is that enough for now?"
"It's enough. I'm not going anywhere, Elio. You can tell me when you're ready."
The certainty in his voice made my chest tight.
