I feel her body relax, letting go of all the tension she’s been carrying for days.
I tuck her beneath my arm and walk toward my rental car. I’ll text Kacey to have someone get her car. I can’t believe she drove herself here in the first place.
Stubborn woman.
It’s a silent ride back to the house, and I’m worried now that she’s calmed down, she won’t want me here, but she takes my hand in hers and leads me inside, straight to the couch.
I’m right back where I belong, as her crash landing pad. Her shoes go flying before she lays her head on my chest. We don’t talk.
I hold her, and she cries more until her breathing slows, and she falls asleep in my arms.
“Two burgers with fries and milkshakes, please.”
The girl behind the counter at the cafe hands me a plastic sack with the to-go boxes.
I pick up both shakes and hustle back to the house. I didn’t want to leave Jessie alone, but we need to eat, and she had no food in the house. Another concerning sign. Jessie always has groceries to cook with, and I’m sure people have offered to bring food over.
I close the back door quietly behind me in case she’s fallen back asleep. She slept in my arms for almost two hours, but she was still exhausted when she woke. I set the food on the counter as she rounds the corner into the kitchen. She changed into sweats and braided her hair over her shoulder. Her eyes are puffy; nose red.
“Strawberry or chocolate?” I ask, holding up the shakes.
“Chocolate,” she murmurs, grabbing a to-go box and heading for the table.
I sit across from her and start eating. I watch her take a drink of the shake and pick at her fries, but she isn’t eating.
“Jessie, please eat something.”
Her hazel eyes look up at me. Nothing but pain and sadness shine within them, but she picks up her burger and takes a bite. I dip a fry in my shake and think about the time she and Dot gave me so much shit for doing it. One of my favorite things about Dot was she could dish it just as well as she could take it. Her quick wit and borderline dirty jokes always made me laugh. Jessie is so much like her.
A sniffle brings me out of my memories. I look up to find Jessie setting her burger back in the box, tears running down her cheeks.
“Shit.” I jump up and round the table to squat next to her. I hold her face in my hands and wipe her tears with my thumbs, but that only makes them fall harder.
Dinner is over.
I pick Jessie up and carry her back to the couch.
My shirt is quickly damp with her tears again. Witnessing her grief is tearing me apart inside, but this is what she needs. She has to grieve, let it all out.
When the tears slow, she says, “You should be at a rodeo. You haven’t made the finals yet.”
“I’m right where I need to be. I don’t give a fuck about the finals right now. Besides, I hear they’re having it again next year.”
She hiccups a laugh at that.
I manage to get her to eat half her burger and most of her fries after I warmed them up. We drink our half-melted shakes and turn on a movie.
Jessie snuggles into me.
I breathe in her vanilla scent, combing my fingers through my hair, soaking in the feeling of home. We’re brokenhearted and surrounded by loss, but feeling her burrow into my hold heals a part of me.
Don’t worry, Dot. I’ve got her.
We’re tucked in her bed later, her back to my chest when she whispers, “This doesn’t change anything, but thank you for coming.”
“I know.” I kiss the top of her shoulder. I wish it did, but I knew it wouldn’t. This was one weak moment for both of us. One more time I get to hold her. Even though one more time will never be enough.
Chapter 42
