“What?” Zander asks. “You okay?”
Gritting my teeth, I don’t answer and yank the ax from the trunk to swing again. I hit it, though I miss my first slash and make a totally new one.
“Goddamn it,” I snarl.
Pull the ax out, swing it again. This time, I land between my two previous cuts. I hack at the tree a few more times, doing my best to aim, but I can’t seem to land it in the same place twice. Fuck. I should have kept searching until I found a handsaw. This ax shit sucks.
“Let’s move it along, bro,” Zander calls out. “I don’t want to get frostbite on my balls.”
Stopping, I glare over at him. “If you’re in such a hurry, then you give it a try.”
Zander wrinkles his nose, clearly wanting to shoot me down, but then he releases a long sigh.
“All right, fine. Gimme the ax.”
I happily hand it over and step back to give him room. I watch as he hacks at the tree, biting the inside of my cheek to keep myself from smirking in satisfaction as he struggles just as much as me.
We switch on and off, hacking at the tree until my arms ache and sweat is running down my back. At one point, I step back and wipe my arm across my forehead as I take in our progress. Crazy that you can get so hot in these cold temperatures.
The trunk’s not in good shape, either.
Jesus. It looks like an army of drunk beavers has been going at this thing. I don’t know how the fuck it’s going to ever stand up straight, but that’s not my problem right now. I’m getting this motherfucker down one way or another.
Zander and I take turns a few more times until the tree’s trunk finally gives way with an ominous crack and the tree goes toppling over.
“Holy shit!” Zander exclaims. “We did it!”
“Yeah.” I do feel a surge of manly satisfaction as I gaze down at our handiwork.
“All right,” Zander declares, reaching down for the tree. “Let’s get this back to the…” He tries to lift it and freezes.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
He blinks at me and then says, “It’s heavy as hell.”
God-fucking-damn it.
“Oh… shit.” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “This is such bullshit. I’m going to buy only fake trees from now on.”
“I think I’ll do that too.”
He looks up, his green eyes suddenly shimmering. “What if we think about it as part of training? Keeping us fit for our next game.”
I shrug. “I suppose that could help us stay motivated.”
“That’s right. All about those gains, bro.”
We both take hold of branches on either side and begin making our way back to the house, following our footprints in the snow.
“I think we bit off more than we could chew,” Zander murmurs, yanking on his side of the tree. “Have a do-over Christmas, they said… it’ll be fun, they said…”
“My Christmas wasn’t even that bad,” I grumble.
The sudden sound of a branch snapping behind us makes us freeze.
Zander looks over at me with wide eyes. “What was that?”
“I dunno,” I say, trying to sound calm, though my heart is racing. “Snow falling from a tree?”
