“What if we don’t come back with a tree?”
He shrugs. “I said what I said.”
My lips twitch into a half-grin. “I’m good with low standards.”
He chuckles, seeming to relax. The very next moment, he takes a step and suddenly his feet are in the air. He lets out a shout as he goes crashing to the ground.
I walk toward him, spotting the patch of ice he slipped on. The snow that had been hiding it before seems to have been disturbed by his footprint. He’s laying on the ground, face first in the snow. I lean over him. “You okay, man?”
He lets out a long groan.
“Just leave me and save yourself. I belong to the wilderness now.”
Laughing, I offer him my hand and help him to his feet. “Come on, drama queen. If I show back up without you, Rylee will rip my balls off, and I rather like them where they are.”
“Yeah, she’d eviscerate you.” He stands, then his gaze goes wide. “Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! There’s snow in my pants!”
He dances around, kicking out his legs to try and dislodge the trapped snow, though I know that’s only going to make it melt faster. It just makes me laugh harder until I double over, dropping the ax on the ground as I hold my stomach.
“Yeah, yeah, yuck it up,” Zander whimpers. “Let’s just find this tree and get this over with.”
It takes me a few moments, but I manage to pull myself together and pick the ax back up. I suppose we should hurry up so Zander doesn’t get frostbite on his dick. We continue on and I can’t help when a couple chuckles slip out of my mouth. Each time they get free, Zander shoots me a murderous look.
A few minutes later, we step out into a small clearing, and towards the middle spot a pine tree that actually looks pretty perfect. It looks to be about twelve feet tall, which would fit perfectly in the living room we’ve got here, with its high ceilings.
“This one work?” I ask, coming to a stop in front of it.
Zander looks the tree up and down, like he has a fucking clue.
“Yeah. Looks good.”
“Cool. Here ya go.” I hold the ax out for him, but he just looks at it with a frown.
“Uhhhh…what?” He blinks up at me. “Why are you giving that to me?”
I furrow my brow. “So you can chop down the tree.”
Shaking his head, he actually takes a step back. “Why me? I thought you’d do it.”
“Why would you assume I’d do it?”
“Because…you’ve been carrying the ax?”
“So?” I shrug, still holding the ax out. “I carried it so you could conserve your strength.”
His eyes widen and his jaw drops open a bit. “Dude, I’ve never swung an ax in my life! Plus, I have snow in my pants. Haven’t I been through enough?”
Fuck me. I release a long groan.
“Jesus Christ,” I grumble. “All right, I’ll give it a try.”
Zander takes another step back, giving me room as he continues to shake his legs.
I approach the tree and plant my feet. How hard could this really be? Just swing and hit the trunk. No big deal.
Bringing the ax back, I swing with all my might. When I hit the tree, the force of the impact reverberates up my arms and stings my hands.
“Motherfucker!”
