Her lips parted and for a moment, she thought he was going to kiss her. Her heart lurched in her chest and Gretna found herself suddenly nervous. What would it be like to kiss Remy?
More importantly, why was she thinking that way at all?
His eyes dropped to her lips and she saw an intensity in their depths that Gretna had never witnessed before. It made her stomach clench uncontrollably, her breathing became shallow. It felt like want, want for Remy and the very thought terrified Gretna.
“Gretna,” Remy said softly. “Lass.”
“I have tae go,” she said suddenly, turning on her heel and walking away quickly before she did something rush, something like kissing Remy and throwing away everything she had worked hard for in her lifetime.
So why did walking away feel so wrong to her?
The thought was lodged in her mind the entire way back to the keep, so much so that she didn’t pay much attention to where she was walking until she bumped into a solid form. “Gretna,”James said happily, his hands grasping at her arms to keep her from falling to the floor. “There ye are.”
Gretna swallowed her thoughts, giving him a small smile. “Are ye done with yer meetings then?”
“Aye,” he answered, sliding his hands down her arms. Gretna shivered at his bold touch and pulled away slightly, an embarrassed smile on her face.
“I feel like a fool for not watching where I was going.”
“I donna mind,” James said, proffering his arm. “Would ye like some company? I donna have anything else this morn.”
Gretna nearly hesitated, thinking about how she would like to do nothing more than to closet herself in her chambers until dinner, but that would not solve anything nor would it aid her in her need to fall in love with James. “Of course,” she said sweetly, tucking her hand into the crook of his arm. “I canna turn down a handsome Scot wishing tae spend time with mah.”
He grinned, clearly pleased with her words, and led her back outside the keep, away from the direction of where she had last seen Remy. Gretna listened to him talk about the keep and how it was built, nodding and smiling where it was appropriate, but the words that she and Remy had shared troubled her mind. He thought she could be who she wished to be but Gretna didn’t even know who that was. All her life she had been planning for the day that she would wed for the sake of her clan and now that the time was near, Gretna knew she should be happy.
Yet she couldn’t look her brother in his eyes and tell him that she was happy. Gretna didn’t understand it. She had everything in her grasp, yet all she could think about was how it would feel to have Remy cradle her face in those large hands of his and give her her first kiss.
Perhaps it was because she had been around him so much lately that he had infiltrated her thoughts. Yes, that had to be it. It wasn’t because she truly wanted him over this.
It couldn’t be.
“And this is where mah da asked mah ma tae wed him,” James was saying, stopping in front of a blooming bush, the bottom surrounded by stones. “He comes out here on that date and remembers.”
“It must be hard for him,” she said sympathetically, trying to picture the strong Scot coming out and kneeling before this bush. “Tae think aboot losing her.”
James nodded, turning toward Gretna. “It is. No one would expect the great Laird McCellan tae pine for his wife the way that he does, but mah da is broken-hearted.” He took a step toward her. “Tis the same sort of love I wish for in mah lifetime.”
Gretna’s lips parted. James was saying all the right things to her but in her chest, she felt a sense of discord, as if it didn’t mean the same coming from someone who truly meant them.
“I…” He reached up and cupped her cheek boldly, surprising Gretna. “I believe ye can be that lass for mah, Gretna. I believe that we can have a great love that will span through the ages.” He leaned in closer and Gretna panicked, pushing at his chest and causing him to stumble backward.
“Wot are ye doing?”
James straightened, a dark look lurking in his eyes. “I was aboot tae kiss ye, lass.”
She knew that. But what had given him liberties to think he could? “We… this is moving too fast,” she blurted out, hoping that her expression showed embarrassment. “I’m verra sorry. I just, I panicked.”
His expression smoothed over but not before she saw a flash of irritation on it. “Of course. Yer an innocent lass. I shouldna have been a bit less forward.” He gave her a jerky bow. “Forgive mah, lovely Gretna.”
Gretna didn’t believe him for a minute. There was something about him that made her think he took liberties often and without an apology.
“Please,” he said, reaching out to take her hands in his, his expression pleading. “I dinna mean tae frighten ye.”
“I should go,” she said instead, pulling her hands out of his and walking away before he could stop her. Gretna was shaking, but not because she was excited.
Nay, she wished to get away from him as quickly as she could.
10
