Was it because of the way she had seen him glance more than once at the maid who had poured the wine on her dress? His brow had furrowed as he watched her. That was odd for a laird’s son to be so taken with a maid, Gretna realized, but when the woman had stormed off a moment later, she had forgotten about it. James lavished her with attention and at the end of the night, he had escorted her personally to her chambers, bidding her a good, restful sleep.
If only it had been so!
Spying another garden in the distance, a much larger one, Gretna made her way to its entrance, breathing in the floral scent that clung to the air. She could love James, Gretna decided. He was handsome, unfailingly polite, and everything she wished for in a husband. He could provide her a nice keep to live in, clothing like the gown she wore even this morning, and the title she had always longed for.
All she had to do was have an inkling of a feeling for him. Just one.
Rounding the dirt path, Gretna drew up as she saw Remy seated on the ground amongst the flowers, a book in his hand. “Wot are ye doing here?” she blurted out.
He peered at her over the top of his book. “I believe I was here first.”
Well, he was, but she had been unprepared to find the object of her thoughts reading of all things! “Wot are ye doing?” she asked haughtily. “Pretending tae know wot it says or is this a means tae wait for yer lass?” Her words came out harsh but that was her intention. She had watched out of the corner of her eye as Remy had danced all night, song after song with a lovely redhead, even grinning at her a time or two before they both disappeared from sight. All night she had been sick with worry and a bit of jealousy as well, that he was with another woman, but what sort of power did she have over him?
Nothing! And that was what hurt most of all.
Remy closed his book and rested his hand on his updrawn knee. “Jealous?”
Gretna snorted. “Unlikely. I donna know wot ye even mean.” She was jealous, horribly so. It ate at her to know that he had danced with her, made her feel like something was different between them, and then moved on as if nothing had happened. She shouldn’t be surprised but it still hurt.
Remy slowly rose to his feet, setting his book beside his bag. “I donna know if I believe ye, lass.”
She brushed her hair out of her face, refusing to look at him. “It doesna matter wot ye believe.”
He reached out and grabbed her chin lightly, forcing Gretna to meet his gaze. “Tell mah the truth, Gretna,” he said softly, his voice laced with steel. “Did something happen with that arse?”
“Nay!” she shouted, pulling herself out of his grasp. When he touched her so, she couldn’t think straight. “James was a perfect gentleman. He was divine.”
Remy arched a brow. “Then why are ye out here with mah, worried aboot mah night?”
“I donna know!” she shouted, her chest heaving. “I donna know why I care aboot ye at all!”
Remy’s eyes widened and Gretna whimpered under her breath, hating that she had just said the words aloud. “Well,” he finally said as Gretna recovered from her embarrassment. “I donna know wot tae say aboot that.”
Neither did Gretna. “I shouldna be out here,” she said, grasping her skirts. “I need tae leave. Tis not proper.” Neither was the fact that Remy had slept in her room, even if it was for protection. She didn’t break the rules. She didn’t do anything improper, yet Gretna felt like she had done both over the last three days or so.
“Tell mah,” Remy said quietly, his arms at his sides. “When was the last time ye did something that wasna expected of ye, lass?”
She looked at him, her lips parting. “Wot?”
“When did ye not follow the rules?” he challenged. “When did ye do something because ye wished tae do so?”
Gretna opened her mouth but no sound came out. Truthfully, she didn’t know when was the last time that she had done something because she wished to and not because it was expected of her. “I canna. Tis not something I can do.” Her brother was counting on her for this alliance. She would be securing not only her future but that of her sisters’ and the other clansmen she loved so. Gretna had to be perfect.
Remy took a step forward. “Ye can do it, Gretna. Ye could walk away right now and run naked in the field if ye wished tae do so.”
Gretna let out a tortured laugh. “I donna think that would be wise.”
“I mean it,” he continued. “Ye donna have tae be perfect all the time. No one expects ye tae live like this, lass.”
Remy was wrong. Everyone expected her to live like that. Everyone expected her to wed a laird or at the very least, someone who would be a laird one day and secure a future for their clan. Everyone expected her to smile and converse like a laird’s daughter, to know how to act like a lady.
That didn’t entail her running through the meadow naked. “Yer wrong,” she finally said.
He let out a chuckle. “Only ye would think that yer brother would put this sort of weight on yer shoulders without wanting ye tae be happy yerself.”
All Gretna knew was that she wished to be loved. She wanted to feel it in her very soul, to look at someone and know that they cared about her just as madly.
Remy reached out and snagged a loose strand of her hair, tucking it behind her ear. “I want ye tae be happy.”
