“Competition?You won the Venice trip in a bloody competition?”
Suddenly enraged, she jumped off the wooden bench, not caring one whit about what the other picnickers thought of her. The revelation that Siobhand had finished with him was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
By his own admission he was a conniving, cheating rat, butthis.How could anyone be so deceitful?
Roan was engaged to someone else and had been throughout most of their relationship. Jenny had given him everything, and she was never even his first choice.
“Jenny – ”
“Forget it,” she snapped, rummaging in her handbag for the car keys.“I’ve heard enough, I’m out of here and don’t think you’re coming with me. You can crawl your way back to Dublin, it’s the least you deserve, you creep.”
He followed her back to the car where she stood, struggling to find the right key.
“I’m sorry, I truly am,” he said softly, coming up beside her.
“Do you know what I went through, trying to figure it all out, wondering what I was doing wrong? Thinking that it was me, that it had to be me, that I wasn’t attractive enough, that I was fat, that I was crap in bed, that I wasn’t enough. I wasn’tenough. Did you have any idea?”
“Jen I …”
“And all that, after wondering if you were cheating on me, after trying my utmost to keep you happy, you turn around and tell me now that I wasn’t even the onewho was being cheated on?Iwas the other woman. After Venice, Siobhan dumped you so you had to settle for second best?”
“It wasn’t like that. I cared about you a lot – I still do.”
He reached for her but Jenny recoiled at his touch, while inside her heart broke all over again.
“You just had no idea, did you?” she sobbed, “No idea how much I loved you.”
54
Much later, she dropped him back to his hotel. They were mostly silent for the rest of the journey and the atmosphere hung heavily between them.
Jenny had never felt so exhausted in her life, the heavy, emotive conversation draining her. Not to mention the fact that she hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in days.
She pulled up outside the hotel entrance, kept the engine running and put the car back into first gear while he got out.
“It’s late,” Roan said, glancing at his watch, which Jenny noticed was an expensive Tag Heuer. He hadn’t been lying about doing well in New York. “Do you want to maybe get something to eat? I know I’m hungry and I’m sure you must be too.”
He was … nervous, she realised.
Jenny looked up into those familiar brown eyes, andnow saw something in them, an intensity she wasn’t sure she wanted to see.
Was it merely nostalgia, this electricity between them now? After today, the rules had changed. Everything was out in the open. They’d both changed, matured even.
Yet Jenny realised there was something unfinished hanging in the air. She could feel it and she was certain he could too. Her heart began to pound and she felt beads of moisture form on her forehead.
“I’m – I’m tired,” she replied quickly, afraid to meet his gaze.
There was a heavy pause. “Sure - um, thanks for the lift.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him watching her, almost willing her to look up. But if Jenny looked into those eyes again she didn’t know what might happen.
“You’re welcome.” She grasped the steering wheel as tightly as she could.
“So, I guess I’ll see you around?”
She nodded, still afraid to look at him, afraid to say anything more as heavy tension simmered. She moved the car into first gear for the second time, as if to convince herself that she really was leaving soon – needed to leave soon.
Roan hesitated for what seemed like forever, then softly closed the passenger door.
