Jenny sped off without checking her rearview mirror, afraid that if she looked back and saw his face, she would surely falter.
Thumpety-thump, thumpety-thump– her heart raced.Don’t look back, don’t look back,she kept repeating to herself.
But when she stopped the car at the hotel exit onto the main road, she couldn’t help it. It was as though an invisible force had taken control of her responses.
Jenny looked back and saw Roan still standing there, watching her outside the hotel – an unreadable expression on his face.
Waiting.
As if being controlled by an invisible force, she suddenly put the car into reverse and sped backwards into the car park, her sense of orientation all over the place.
She narrowly missed bumping into a Mondeo reversing around a corner when she saw Roan move towards her. She abandoned the car in a staff space but didn’t care; she was far beyond caring.
Jenny wrenched open the door, got out and flung herself into Roan’s arms, holding on to him as if her life depended on it.
He cupped her upturned face in his hands and stared into her eyes, the desire in his gaze so clearly mirrored by her own. Unwilling to break the spell, she didn’t utter a word.
And when their mouths finally met, Jenny knew that she was once again, lost.
PRESENT DAY
55
Back in her kitchen, Karen’s jaw fell to the floor and she almost dropped her teacup in tandem.
“Seriously?”
Having reached the end of her sorry tale, Jenny looked at her in nervous anticipation.
“I just … I never expected to see him again. I was caught off guard.
Karen was still dumbstruck. “But why didn’t you tell me at the time?”
Jenny shook her head. “You had just buried Shane and I was ashamed. It was such an emotional day and to be honest, I felt terrible about the timing.” She dropped her hands in her lap. “I was afraid you’d think that all I cared about was myself. But it wasn’t like that.”
“It doesn’t matterwhatday it was. I’m just annoyed that you fell for the guy’s bullcrap all over again. To think of how he just left you in the lurch – ”
“Another reason why I didn’t say anything. I didn’twant to have to thrash it all out again. And goes without saying that I was terrified that Mike might find out. But honestly, this time with Roan - it was different –hewas different. Maybe because we both figured we’d never see one another again.”
“So you decided to have a quick roll in the hay for old time’s sake?” Karen shot back sardonically. “Sorry, it’s just a bit of a shock hearing all this now.”
“But you’re right, in a way,” Jenny agreed. “Itwasfor old times’ sake and a purge of sorts, for me at least. Roan went back to New York and after that I think I knew once and for all that Mike was the one I wanted; the one Itrulyloved. Until then I was uncertain; still caught in the past I suppose. But once I’d confronted Roan I could finally let him go.” She bit her lip. “I know it’s maybe difficult to understand, but it was only until I got him out of my system that I could say for certain that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Mike.”
“Which is why you two got engaged so soon after,” Karen ventured.
“Partly, yes. I think Mike realised that something had changed in me too. He knew that Roan had been at the funeral, although he didn’t know the whole story, obviously. Still, I think he sensed that I was ready to move on and he proposed.”
Thinking it through, Karen was silent for a long moment and she reached for another muffin.
“That’s not quite the sum of it though, is it?” she stated matter-of-factly, meeting Jenny’s gaze head-on. “There’s more to all this; otherwise, you wouldn’t be sodistraught.” Her friend’s haunted expression told her all she needed to know. Jenny nodded, her face betraying her as she battled hard to prevent tears. “Aw, Jen. Seriously?”
For her part, Karen was still in disbelief that Jenny had fallen under Roan William’s spell again - just when she was finally getting her life back on track.
She’d had no idea that the two had even spoken that day. As it was, she hadn’t seen Roan at the funeral, and wouldn’t have known he was there at all had Tessa not told her afterwards. But according to her, he hadn’t stayed long. Suggesting Tessa didn’t know about Jenny’s little liaison either.
Needless to say, Karen was mired in her own worries back then, so Jenny was right – there was never a good time.
A few weeks after the funeral, when she was still trying to get her life back on track, she got a call from a solicitor in Meath asking her to come in for ‘a discussion’ about Shane’s estate. Karen had intended to pay a quick visit to the Quinns on her way, but there had been nobody at the farmhouse when she called.
