“Thank you. I really don’t wanna be alone right now.”
She types away on her phone. “Good thing you have a bestiewilling to ditch work for the day and spend it with you then, isn’t it?”
“Fi, you really can’t ditch work for me.”
She drops her phone onto the couch. “I can and I just did, so I’m all yours for the rest of the day.”
39
My phone rings for the hundredth time and for the hundredth time, I ignore it, drowning out the incessant noise with every hit to the punching bag in my garage.
I already know who it is without having to look at the caller ID. I was due at a club meeting an hour ago, but considering what happened this morning, nothing could be further from my mind. It’s the first meeting I’ve missed since joining the club five years ago. It’s an unwritten rule that all members attend. It’s expected, except in extenuating circumstances and the way I’m feeling right now feels pretty fucking close, but I couldn’t give a shit either way.
Nothing matters anymore.
Not withouther.
The look on Kaia’s face is all I can see when I close my eyes. The image of tears in hers.
TearsIput there.
The punching bag takes yet another hammering as it swings back and forth on its hook, the chains it’s suspended from rattling. I’m not wearing gloves, so every hit tears through another layer of skin on my already sore and bruised knuckles.
I suppose I had this coming. Karma after all has a funny way of biting you in the ass when you least expect it, I only wish I’d told her the truth before she saw that text from Jett.
“Fuck!” I shout, striking the bag harder, throwing my entire body behind the punch and it swings backwards. The skin on my knuckles splits wide open, leaving a streak of blood on the bag. My fingers are bruised and bloody, my bones close to breaking and I welcome the pain. I’ve got the garage door wide open, the biting winter wind sweeping through, feeling like icicles piercing my skin.
Ideserveit. I deserve the pain but it’s not enough. It’s nowhere near close to the pain she feels. I ripped her beating heart out of her chest with my bare hands and I couldn’t hate myself more if I tried.
A familiar rumble of a motorcycle engine pulling up on my driveway drags me from my thoughts and I groan. The engine switches off, footsteps growing closer but I don’t turn around. I don’t wanna see anyone today.
“What the fuck, man?” Jett asks. “You missed the meeting. We’ve called you like a hundred times.”
When I don’t answer, Jett moves closer, peering around to see my face.
“You hear me, man?”
“Kaia knows.” My voice is low and rough.Strained.
“Fuck,man. How did she take it?”
I meet his eyes. “How do you fucking think? She saw your fucking text this morning and now she wants nothing to do with me!”
“So it’s my fault? Who’s fucking plan was it in the first place? Who went and fell in love with her instead?”
I hit him, my fist smashing into his face, sending him stumbling backwards, clutching his jaw. Even with the beating my fists have taken today, the pain radiating through my hand and up my arm isn’t enough to deflect from the pain in my heart.
Nothing ever will.
I’ve experienced a lot of pain in my life, but losing Kaia is the worst pain imaginable.
Jett rights himself and swings for me, the force of his punch has my head snapping to the right. “This is on you, man. Not me!” He tackles me to the ground, kneeling above me and swings for me again.
His fist cracks across my face but I don’t resist. I don’t fight back.
I take it. I invite the pain.
I lay my arms open on the ground beside me and stare up at him, challenging him to hit me again.
