After the engine rumbles to life beneath me, I shove it into drive and back out of the driveway and it takes every ounce of strength inside me to not look in the rear view mirror as I peel away.
“How could he do this to me, Fi?” I’m curled up on the couch in her tiny apartment, my legs pulled up tight against my chest.
My eyes are sore and my head is throbbing from the tears that have flowed and kept on flowing ever since I showed up on her doorstep half an hour ago. The second I saw my best friend I couldn’t hold them back. It was like someone turned on a faucet and left it running as all of the pain inside poured out of me.
Sofia paces the rug in front of me restlessly, the anger radiating off her in waves. “I’ve got half a mind to go over there and rip his fucking balls from his body.”
She pulls a laugh out of me. “You actually would, wouldn’t you?”
She turns to me and quirks an eyebrow. “Babe, you know me better than anyone, of course I would. No man treats my bestie like that and remains intact.”
“I just can’t wrap my head around it. I believed every word. Was I an idiot? Should I have seen this coming?”
She crosses the space and drops down beside me, resting a hand on my knee. “You’re not an idiot, babe. This isnotyour fault. This is all on him. I knew he could be an asshole, but this…”
“All of the guys knew, they must’ve.” It all makes so much sense. How Mac insisted I go with you to the bar that first night, the job… everything. It was all orchestrated to lure me in so Killian could wear me down.”
Wait…
My eyes snap up to hers. “Did you know?”
“What?” She flinches like I’ve slapped her across the face. “Of course not. Babe, you’re my best friend, I’d never do that to you. If I’d known what they were planning, I’d never have taken you to The Ape Hanger that night.”
“Fuck, I’m sorry I—” I bury my face in my hands. “It just feels like everyone was in on the joke except me. It’s not the photos that hurts the most, it’s that he let me think what we had was real. He was manipulating me from the first moment we met.”
“I’m gonna ask you a question, and don’t bite my head off but… Do you think there’s the slightest chance he loves you?”
“What?” She’s changed her tune in the last thirty seconds.
“I saw the way Killian looked at you, the way he acted around you. We all did. He let you stay at his house, he let you ride on the back of his bike, he made you a bracelet. Hekissedyou. He’s either the best actor to have ever lived or he’s crazyabout you and has a shitty way of showing it.”
“He told me he’s in love with me,” I say.
Her chin hits the floor. “Holyshit. Seriously? He said that?”
I nod. “He told me before I left, like it would magically make me change my mind and stay. Told me he didn’t intend to fall in love with me.”
“Do you believe him?” she asks.
“Do you?” I counter.
She sighs. “A tiny part of me does. He’s different with you. He’s not the same person he was bef—”
“Then how could he do something like this?”
“Because men are idiots and they don’t know when they’ve got a good thing until it’s gone. The more important question is, do you lovehim?”
My eyes well with fresh tears. “So much,” I confirm, my voice wavering. “I should hate him, and despite everything he’s done, I don’t.”
She shuffles across the couch and envelopes me in a hug. “Men suck. And love hurts, but that’s the beauty of it, I guess.”
I rest my head on her shoulder. “What do I do?”
“I guess you take some time to decide if you love him enough to forgive him, or let him go. Or you can let me rip his balls off, I’ll happily do it.”
“I can’t bring myself to think about that right now. Anyway, shouldn’t you be at work?”
She checks her phone and shrugs. “Yeah, but my bestie needs me. So we’re gonna order takeout, consume enough sugar to give us diabetes and watch a shit-ton of cheesy movies instead.”
