The smile he managed to offer didn’t quite reach his eyes either. That was the first real difference I noticed between their faces, the way Will’s smiles had always lingered, softening his gaze and making me feel like I was in on something with him.
Jesse’s felt more like a reflex. Not fake at all. Just like something that came easier but disappeared faster because it hadn’t really been earned.
“Odd and awkward,” he repeated. “Yeah. You’re not wrong.”
As soon as he fell silent again, there was another lull between us. What had happened sat like a giant, neon elephant between us, but there was no version of this conversation where we got to joke about it.
There was no light way to bridge the fact that I had unknowingly built something real with his brother while thinking it was him. Comedy had officially left the building, so I folded my hands together on the table and just let myself study him some more.
They really did look so identical that it was unsettling. They shared the same eyes, the same jawline, and the same features, and yet, it stopped there. Jesse was more brash, I realized. There was a bluntness to him, an edge Will didn’t have.
Where Will observed, Jesse reacted. Will measured his words, but Jesse seemed to say them as they came to mind.
“I’m guessing this isn’t how you imagined this going,” he said as if he’d heard the thought and intended on proving me correct.
“No,” I admitted. “I don’t think this is howeitherof us imagined it.”
He let out a quiet laugh. “Yeah. That’s fair.”
A server appeared and we both seized the opportunity to order just to have a moment to not talk. Once he left, however, the silence came rushing back in for another few uncomfortably long moments.
Eventually, I decided to simply confront things head on. “Alright, well, the wedding. We should talk about that.”
“Right,” he said, but he didn’t look thrilled about it. If anything, he looked exactly how I felt—terrified, uncomfortable, and desperately uncertain that it was the right thing to do. “The wedding. Okay. It’s going to be in England, right?”
“Well, yes. I assume we’re still going through with it?”
He nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, of course.”
Although theof coursemight’ve made it seem like there would be, there was zero enthusiasm in his voice. It seemed more like this was something he was simply resigned to do. Something he’d accepted as his burden to carry.
“I’ll do what needs to be done,” he said. “If that means flying to England for a wedding at the estate, then that’s cool.”
Something in my chest sank. This was it, my future. A long life married to a man who woulddo what needed to be done.
Romance wasn’t dead. It had simply never been invited to this relationship.
I nodded, though. “Alright. Well, if we’re on the same page that we’re proceeding as agreed, then you should also know that Will accepted an amendment to the contract to the effect that I can return to England whenever I want, for however long I might want to stay. He insisted on the addition of that last part.”
His eyebrows lifted, surprise flickering across his face. “He did?”
I nodded. “At the last minute before signing. As such, I’d prefer to spend most of my time there. If that’s acceptable to you.”
“Yeah,” he said immediately. “Sure.”
He said it so quickly and easily that it felt like the idea of me being on another continent most of the time was not a problem for him at all.Isn’t that just exactly what every girl dreams of when she wonders what her marriage will be like one day?
We fell quiet again, but this time, I broke the silence more readily. “There’s also the matter of an heir.”
Right. I’m abandoning all subtlety tonight. Wonderful, but we do need to get this done.
“I’m not sure if it’s been communicated to you,” I said, pushing forward even though Jesse was just staring at me, the color draining from his cheeks at an alarming rate. “My father cannot pass his title and therefore, the estate, to female offspring. You’ll find the patriarchy is alive and well in this instance.”
“Uh, okay?” he said slowly.
I felt heat creep up my neck. Having this conversationoncehad been bad enough. Twice was just cruel, and now I had to do it with a broken heart. “Both of our families are expecting that we produce an heir sooner rather than later, which means, we’ll have to, eventually?—”
“Yeah,” he cut in quickly, then cleared his throat. “Got it. Yep. We will have to, uh, do what needs to be done to, uh,producea boy. Cool.”
