“Jade’s a sleeper,” Abby laughed. “She did serious dance for years as a kid, and sometimes she shows up at dance classes and events to show us all up.”
“So,” Daniela said, “all things considered, I’m due some credit for keeping up.”
“You held me back a lot, but I forgive you,” I said, giving her a playful shove. Alyssa’s eyes flared up, but she plastered on a smile.
“I’m impressed,” she said, and she took all the wind back out of my sails by sidling up next to Abby, sliding a hand to her back. “Abby’s just teaching me how not to step on her feet. Or my own.”
Abby nudged her side, winking at her. “You’re a quick learner.”
“Mm.” I turned back to Daniela. “All right, you got your warm-up. Do better in the next song.”
“Huh—I’m doing the best I can,” Daniela said, but I tugged her off her feet, pulling her into another dance with me. Alyssa watched me with wide eyes, but Abby moved in front of her, breaking contact. Keeping those blue eyes to herself.
Another two dances, and I broke, saying I needed a bit of fresh air, and I stepped outside to where I knew right away I wasn’t going back inside. Hadn’t even intended it when I left the building, but I walked straight to the car, and the next thing I knew, I was back at home, and I knew I really was a lost cause,because even after all that—even after Alyssa was doing all that, her hands all over Abby, even after doing everything I could to show her I wasn’t affected, the first thing I did when I got back home was to go to the candle station, and I opened the box of saved scent samples, while the scent of Alyssa’s perfume was still fresh in my memory.
A dozen samples I was testing, and none of them were quite right. I needed her here for reference. Needed to keep her here when it was just the two of us, hold her close, breathe her in, wrap myself up in that scent.
Instead, it was going to be Abby who was drowning in Alyssa. And I couldn’t stop thinking about it, even as I went late into the night trying to fine-tune the scent combinations to get something that captured her.
I only realized, really, consciously, what was happening when I got a text from Cat.you okay?? headed home??
Christ, she’d been back at the Birdhouse, right in the lion’s den, and I’d neglected her. She’d gotten herself comfortable and had seemed to settle in with a few people, and when I’d still been paying attention, she’d seemed to be enjoying herself, but she hadn’t even crossed my mind when I’d been leaving. I groaned, pushing away from the table and typing a reply while I made a cup of tea. Vanilla chai, splash of almond milk, the way I liked it. Reminded me a little of that creamy scent on the bottom notes of Alyssa’s perfume. I spent a minute trying to figure out what to say, and it was only once I was crashed on the couch by the back windows that I sent the reply.
Sorry, I think I got overwhelmed and wasn’t feeling well. I should have checked in with you, but I wasn’t with it. Are you doing okay?
She was typing again right away. God, she was a good friend. Never held a grudge or brooded on a situation.honestly I’m good, it went better than I expected! you and Danielaand Alyssa all showing up for me together I think made the difference. I mean, even Linda was friendly with me lmao??
Thanks to Alyssa. I sighed hard, typing a reply.Linda and Alyssa are really good friends, I think. She must have talked to her beforehand.
She spent a while typing, stopping, typing again, stopping again, and I choked when I saw her message finally come through.you wanted to be dancing with her, didn’t you?
Yes, of course I damn well wanted to dance with her. I wanted to dance with her there, and I wanted to dance with her here, in the quiet of my house, by the low lights of the valley, to those songs she loved, and hear the sound of her laughter as soft as her hands.Who, Linda?
you’re seriously into her.
Linda’s not my type. Not about to fight Charlie for her.
so much for ‘just physical’ lmao have you told her?
Ugh, she wasn’t even pretending to play along. I rubbed the bridge of my nose as I tried to figure out what to say.She’s clearly pretty satisfied with Abby.
she was staring at you the whole time she was dancing with Abby
I had no way to explain it. I sighed, and I drank about half my tea in one go before I finally wrote out a response.I’m not screwing things up with her, but I appreciate your concern for me. I’m not looking to get into anything with anyone anyway, and someone who’s connected to Boston instead of here wouldn’t be high on my list anyway.
She wrote a reply much faster than me.so if it’s all casual fun, you’ll come to the dinner and dance event at the Italian place on Friday, right?
I frowned at the screen.Are you going?
of course! love me a bit of music
Right.
no but seriously, I got Kaitlyn to agree to come once I found out Alyssa was inviting Daniela and Abby there, so it’s going to be a party. you’ll be there, right?
So, I was desperately in over my head for Alyssa, and Cat wanted me to go watch her grind on another woman. In the name ofcasual fun.Sure.I think I’ll pass, I’ve got orders to catch up on.
So I said. But it played on loop in my mind, and when Alyssa texted me as normal the next morning, in our usual routine, the fact that she didn’t even acknowledge last night’s dancing incident was such a huge elephant in the room that I couldn’t think about anything else. The idea of Alyssa dancing with Abby somewhere I couldn’t see them, somewhere it was just the two of them, made it impossible to breathe, and I didn’t recognize this obsessiveness, this possessiveness, that had me turning it over in my head at work all day.
