But it did get to me, eventually. Alyssa texted me after work with our usual routine—asking about my day, talking about her job search, about the lunch social she and Daniela had attended with a couple of the Birdhouse crew—and she dropped it out of nowhere.
By the way, do you want to come with me and Daniela and Cat to Gianni’s on Friday? It’s a dinner and dance night, and I’m kind of curious to see more of your secret dance skills.
I’d rehearsed a million times saying no.Yeah, I’ll go,was what I sent instead.Cat invited me, and I’m curious if you’re going to be stepping on Abby’s feet again.
She was writing a reply right away.Yay!! I’m sooo glad you’ll be there, I was hoping you’d say yes!
It was one of those messages where I could hear it in Alyssa’s voice, could see the way her eyes sparkled when she said it, and it made me ache for her in a way I hated, especially whenshe sent another message that made my stomach twist up on itself.
And don’t worry, Abby and I have been practicing more so I’m not so embarrassing!
Practicing more. Yeah. I could picture it. Alyssa at Abby’s house, their hands linked, Abby’s eyes drinking her in as they twirled to the music together. Abby’s hand on Alyssa’s waist. Alyssa’s hand on Abby’s back.
Abby’s hand opening Alyssa’s pants. Alyssa’s hand up Abby’s shirt.
You were dancing just fine at the Birdhouse,I sent, finally, pushing the rest of the thoughts out of my mind.
Not like you were! You were amazing. I can’t believe you vanished before I could compliment you on it!
I hide from compliments. You know that.
Maybe I should be asking you to teach me instead.
Christ, the way my stomach dropped out reading that. Thinking of Alyssa coming to me asking me to show her…
You think you could keep up?I replied, and she responded right away.
Absolutely not. But my god would I try.
God, but I wanted to see that. And the thought kept turning in circles in my mind, over and over and over, through the rest of the evening, through the next day, and through the next one, too, until I found myself standing in front of the mirror on Friday after work, adjusting my shirt. Gianni’s wasn’t white-tie formal, but everyone used the dances they did there sometimes as an excuse to dress up, and I hadn’t worn a suit in some time, and I guess I just… felt like it was time to break it out.
Daniela was going to ask me to dance with her. And she’d dress well. And Alyssa would see I was doing just fine.
I almost chickened out when I was putting on a bowtie, just seeing myself in the mirror, a black suit jacket and pants, neatwhite shirt with a little red bowtie. Made it a little obvious I was dressing for her attention. But right when I picked up my phone thinking maybe I could back out, text Alyssa saying I was feeling sick, was when I got a picture from Alyssa. A selfie.
Just bought this the other day, what do you think?
A dress, sapphire-blue, strapless and fitted to her body until it flared out down to her ankles, looking like a damn dream. Big crystal drop earrings, hair done up in a braid crown again, and I hated how weak I was for that look. The answer was that she looked like the most beautiful woman I’d seen in my life, but I couldn’t say that.
Instead, I said something worse.You look like Abby is going to have to fight off all the other girls who want to dance with you, is how you look.
Yeah?she replied, and then another message.Does that mean you’re going to try grabbing me for a dance, too?
My face felt hot, and I swallowed hard as I replied.Don’t know, I heard you can’t keep up…
Why do you think I’ve been practicing so much lately?
Dammit. She was still running circles around me. I pushed out a breath, closing my eyes, before I forced myself not to flirt back.
Trying not to let me and Daniela steal the show, I assume.
Hmmmm. I guess we’ll see soon, won’t we?
Right. I guess we would.
I turned back to the mirror, and I stared for a minute before I raked my hand back through my hair. More tousled. More natural. More like the kind of woman whomightjust try to take Alyssa away from Abby.
I wouldn’t. But I could look like it.
