God forbid I let two people who arefakinglove win. That would ruin everything.
And then, an idea forms. No. Is that too much? I swear I heard one of the Hannahs mention people get kicked off dating shows if production don’t think they’re genuine.
If I reported her to them, they could send her home.
But ratting them out is risky. If the others found out it was me, would they think I’m a bad person? Everyone else seems to like her, probably more than they like me. I’m sure Warren is popular on the boys’ side too.
Plus, if she went home, I wouldn’t have the satisfaction of seeing her lose to me.
Because I think I can beat her.
I can do more, I can push more. After all, I am very familiar with making myself approachable, friendly, trustworthy to strangers. I know how to be the adorkable, cute character that people expect and find they like. I’m good at corralling an audience at the farm. I’ve spent my life training myself to be just enough and not too much.
She might be a faker and a liar, but I’m a high-masking autistic woman; we’re similar but I’m a different breed.
I’m the most formidable opponent Dolly Doherty could ever come up against.
That prize money is mine. Mine and Patrick’s.
Or at the very least, I’ll do everything in my power to make sure it’s not hers. I just have to be a little bit better than her at everything. IknowI can do that.
This decision feels dangerous, but it feels right. Excitement threads through my body in little thrills.
I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying, and I’m going to make it her problem.
When I leave the bathroom, Dolly is nervously pacing around between our beds, dressed in fresh clothes, but halts when she sees me. She watches me like I’m an animal in a trap. ‘Are you okay?’
I ignore her question. ‘You’re right. This was a mistake,’ I say, my words clipped and short.
‘Carys, please. I didn’t mean it in a bad way. It just happens sometimes. People get—’
I cut her off with a wave of my hand. ‘We can be adults about this.’
I can tell she doesn’t quite believe me. The panic on her face is delicious.
Good. Squirm, bitch!
I busy myself getting dressed while she waits silently, unsure how to progress this conversation. Welcome to my life.
I’m surprised she doesn’t just leave.
‘Do you want me to help you pack?’ she asks eventually.
‘No thank you,’ I say, concentrating on the zip that runs up my side. I dry my hair quickly and shove it up into a bun.
If I get ahead of this, I can control the narrative – the thing that’ll piss her off the most.
‘I’ll put in a request for a room transfer,’ I say, choosing not to sayso I don’t have to look at you againbecause I’m being an adult right now.
‘What do you mean?’ I can hear the panic in her voice.
I go to the door, pull it open just a crack and turn back to her. ‘I’m staying. I’m going to marry Patrick. May the best woman win.’
Chapter FourteenDolly
Lina Chen, 25, Glasgow
[Lina shuffles a stack of tarot cards]Come on, we’ll just do a one-card pull for you. Perhaps to see what your next few months are going to look like?[A hand appears to take a card from a flared pile. Lina turns it over and nods her head slowly]Now, don’t be scared, but you did pull Death.
