“Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Just give me a minute.” I stayed silent while he processed everything I’d said. “Okay, first, you are beautiful. I don’t know why you don’t see it, but it breaks my heart that you don’t.”
“Junior.”
“No.” He came over to me and cupped my face in his hands. “You are beautiful, Bria, and if I have to tell you every day for the rest of our lives in order to get you to see it, then that is what I will do.”
My eyes burned with tears that threatened to fall. “I’ve never been beautiful. If I were then my father would have loved me.”
Junior drew in a quick breath. “What?”
I turned away from him. My arms wrapped around my waist as I fought to hold off the moisture clouding my vision. I wouldn’t cry. I wouldn’t.
“My father was a rodeo rider. Nothing like your family. I don’t think he ever rode in any major competition, but he loved two things: horses and women. My mother was one of them. She didn’t tell him when she got pregnant. If she hadn’t died I’m not sure I ever would have known who he was, but she didn’t have any family and her friend dropped me off at his door and bailed.”
“I spent most of my childhood with the ranch hands while my father whored around with all kinds of women, and he’d always remind me that I wasn’t anything special. I looked too much like my mother, and she’d ruined his life by giving him me. If I wasn’t there then he could have traveled the way he wanted. He could have been one of the greats, but I held him back.”
I could still hear his voice in my mind. His rough gravel sneering out each word.
“I spent most of my teen years trying to learn how to ride so I could maybe make him proud and he’d love me, but that didn’t work either. He thought I was trying to be better than him, and I stopped. After that, I went looking for love in all the wrong places. I dated a lot of rodeo guys who were just like him. Only interested in one night and nothing more. If I hadn’t met Lucinda, thanks to one of the rodeo guys I was seeing, I don’t know what I would have done. She’s been such a help. Especially when my father got sick, and I had to put school on hold to take care of him.”
I turned back toward Junior. “That’s why I love my schedules. If I hadn’t learned how to manage my time I never would have been able to finish school after he passed, and Ineeded to finish. I needed to do something to prove to myself that I could be more than what he thought. That I was worth something, whether anyone loved me or not.”
Junior didn’t say anything or move for so long that I got nervous I’d said too much. When he did move, he came right at me and pulled me into his arms. My head rested against his bare chest, and he held me tight.
“You’re not only beautiful, but you are one of the strongest women I’ve ever known.” His hold loosened as he leaned back. “If your father weren’t dead, I’d find him and give him a piece of my mind. No man should ever treat anyone like that, least of all his daughter. His faults and failures were on him, not you, and it was completely wrong of him to lay that at your feet.” I shook my head, rejecting his words.
“It’s true.” He brought his hands back up to my face. “If he had been a real man, then he would have seen what a gift your mother gave him. He would have treasured having you as a daughter and given you all the love and care that you deserved. Only an asshole would blame a child.”
“I know he was, but he was still my father.” I defended out of habit. I’d long since made peace with the kind of man my father had been.
“Doesn’t matter, but its’ in the past.” Junior argued. “He made a mistake, and so did whoever else you dated. Their stupidity is my fortune cause I’m not dumb enough to let you go. I know the treasure that you are. I don’t care if I live a thousand miles away, I wasn’t lying when I said I’m not going anywhere without you. We might have to spend some days apart at the beginning, but Blackthorne isn’t that far away. It’s why I wanted you to come home with me this weekend so you could see that this can work. We can find a way to make this work.”
“You really believe that, don’t you?”
“Absolutely.”
I looked into his eyes and saw nothing but sincerity. In that moment, I understood what Lucinda had meant when she said my heart would know when it was the right. Standing there with Junior, I felt beautiful for the first time. Not just because he told I was, but because I could see myself clearly for the first time in his reflection.
I reached up and pulled his lips to mine. It had been a while since I felt close enough to anyone to share any kind of intimacy, but with Junior I felt not only safe but loved. His mouth covered mine, and I let my hands run down his spine, pulling him closer.
“Baby, we don’t have to rush.” His hands told a different story. They had moved from the sides of my face down to my waist and one was placed firmly under my sweatshirt.
“I’m not rushing.” I raised up to get closer. “I want you.”
Junior pulled back slightly. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
He studied my face and must have seen all he needed. His arms swooped down to pick me up, and he carried me through the cabin to the bedroom.
Slowly he lowered me to the mattress, his body covering mine. “You have no idea how much I want you.” He kissed down the side of my face to my neck and back up. “No idea.”
“Show me.” I encouraged.
“Oh, I plan on it.” He gave me the smirk I once thought was a player move. “I plan on showing you all night long.”
He took his time removing every inch of clothing I had on. With each layer he removed, his lips blazed heat and passion over my skin. As soon as I was completely naked, he started at my mouth and worked his way down, stopping to suck at each of my breasts. His mouth taking one in and then the other. His tongue flicking over each nipple before biting just enough to cause them to pebble. I arched into each caress. Desire pooling into liquid longing between my legs.
