“Don’t settle because you think you have to, Rayden.”
“I’m not. She’s different, uncomplicated. Knows what she wants out of life. Quirky, funny, and easy to talk to. I love being around her. She’s had a tough life, but her visions are not yet jaded. She believes her dreams will come true.”
“She sounds like a grounded woman with believable aspirations. Don’t you think she deserves to know the truth?”
Even as he asked the question, I accepted that there were layers to Sianna that I might’ve missed. Else, I would’ve told her the truth. Her beauty and calm personality warranted a lot more attention than I might’ve not given her yet.
“Don’t forgo a missed opportunity, son. I did, and I regret it every single day.”
Something in his words made me sit up. He’d shared many things with me over the years, and when he told me about the divorce while I was still in Africa, it wasn’t unexpected. I’d watched my parent’s relationship grow into nothingness with each year yet admired his tenacity to remain in a meaningless marriage. “What are you talking about, Dad?”
“Have you ever been intoxicated?”
I laughed. “Is that a trick question? You know I have.”
A slow smile curled his lower lip. “I’m not talking pissed drunk, son, or alcohol for that matter.” At my raised brow, he continued, “that moment of serene bliss you feel when your senses take over your ability to think, to understand. When you smell or taste something so divine, it resonates with you for the rest of your life.”
Curious, I sat forward. Sliding his hands into his pants pockets, he stared at me before turning away to look out the window.
“I met a woman once. Three unexpected meetings I never saw coming. Beautiful. Strong. Captivating. Yet when I touched her, her cheeks would turn this specific shade of pink, making her appear vulnerable.” He paused as though lost in time. “A one-night stand left me completely enamored. I wanted more. Instead of telling her that night, I stupidly decided to wait until the morning.” He turned to face me. His expression one I hadn’t seen before and something I couldn’t describe. “When I woke, she was gone. All I had of her were vivid memories enough to paint and this.” He withdrew his hands out of his pockets and fingered a bracelet. From where I sat, it looked like wooden beads. “It was only then I realized a whole part of me fell in love with her.” Although he kept his broad shoulders straight, I picked up on his wistful tone. “That was around the time you left for Africa. Two evenings later, I had your mother moved into another bedroom.” He stopped speaking, his gaze fixed on the view outside.
“Did you try to find her?”
“I had no idea where to start. It seemed like not everyone knew her, and the three who did had no full name or forwarding address. She’d relocated, and her aunt was a total waste since the woman also did the disappearing act. I went back to that bar where it all started every day for two months, hoping I’d see her again. She never showed.”
“Jesus, dad, I’m sorry.”
“Sometimes, I just tell myself that while I believed fate played a hand in our meetings, she was never meant to be mine. Yet I don’t think there’s a day that goes by that I don’t think about her or what-ifs.” The corners of his eyes crinkled in a slow smile. “Don’t let this girl get away from you if she is the one that can mend your heart, son. You owe it to her to tell her the truth.” His chest expanded on a deep inhale. “Drink?”
Thoughtful, I rubbed my pointer finger over my chin. He walked over to the bar. I nodded. “If you had a second chance with that woman, would you take it?”
He stopped pouring and uttered a low laugh. “Good fortune doesn’t ring twice. Especially if you don’t seize the moment.”
“You never know. Never give up. You’ve practically drilled that into me, my entire existence.”
“Yeah, that’s when you have full control over something.” He returned with two glasses of brandy.
Rising to my feet, I accepted the glass he held out. “I might not be a romantic at heart, but just once, I wish I could give you what you desire.”
He stopped mid-sip, studying me through eyes filled with years of experience yet openly baffled by what I would want to give him. “What’s that?”
I took a drink and sighed. “I know Kyra, and I make you happy, and you’ve given us so much. For once, I wish I could give you feelings of the real, non-negotiable, unconditional love of a woman.”
He chuckled. “You and me both, Rayden.”
“If she appeared right now in front of you, what would you do?”
Sliding his hand into his pocket, he swirled the contents of his glass with the other, stared at it briefly, then looked up. “I wouldn’t let her go.”
“And what if she came with conditions, or you know.” I lifted my shoulders in a light shrug. “Baggage?”
“I still wouldn’t let her go until she was mine.”
Taking a drink, I smiled. “Did she make that much of an impact on you?”
“You have no idea.” He walked back to his table and slid into his seat. The king of his throne yet unable to get the one thing he wanted. Love.
“Would you be okay if I invited my girlfriend home for the holidays?” I asked without giving any thought to what Sianna would say or whether she’d be open to spending time with my family. After chatting to Trent, I still hadn’t discussed it with Sianna. The spur of the moment decision could get me a serious kick in the nuts.
