Sianna
SIX WEEKS AFTER CHRISTMASEve...
The good thing about being an introvert on top of being an only child, you save yourself copious amounts of embarrassment when shit hits the fan, like in the event of you being caught in a cheating scandal. Or, for instance, sleeping with your boyfriend’s father. If not family, then some friend of the family or an idle busybody, every corner you turn would continuously hound you about how could you and what were you thinking? Blah, fucking blah.
The worst thing is that in an event like that, you only had yourself to berate. Over and over, and no one around to take the chastising off your shoulders, not even for a little while. That’s what I had to put up with for the last six weeks. I’d done it every day without giving myself a break, and I was no closer to self-forgiveness, just extreme self-loathing. Since Rayden’s visit three weeks ago, I doubted I ever would.
“Sianna?”
“Yeah.” I turned as Trent came down the stairs, adjusting his jacket. “Hot date?” I smiled, taking in his navy suit and baby blue shirt.
He laughed. “No. A potential franchise in the making.”
“That’s great. You called?”
“I know you were on your way out, but Brandon had to leave early tonight. Would you mind locking up?”
I hadn’t taken the late shift since returning to work. “Sure.” It wasn’t like my social calendar was overflowing.
“Great. And how are you doing?” He offered me one of his ‘shit happens’ looks and I smiled.
“Recovering.” I shrugged. What else could I say? I haven’t hit rock bottom yet, or maybe I did, but I was too fucked to remember. Between too much coffee and not enough sleep, my memory might’ve suffered a blank spot.
“It will get better.” He rubbed my arm lightly. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” I nodded and waved him off.
Two hours later, I glanced around the empty restaurant and instead of switching off the stereo, I turned up the volume as Ariana Grande’s ‘Love me Harder’hit the speakers. Not ready to leave yet, I closed my eyes, tangled my fingers in my hair and swayed my body to the music. Visions of Drake came to mind. I’d ignored all his calls, but a part of me wondered why he hadn’t come for me. Maybe in my heart, I was glad he’d chosen Rayden over me. How could I ask him to choose differently? Rayden was family and me, well, I was no one.
“I wish you’d love me harder, Prince,” I blurted out the words in my heart as the music ended.
“I do.”
Gasping, I swung around. With his arms crossed and a shoulder pressed into the door frame, Drake stood there watching me. I gawked at the handsome face I longed to forget, didn’t want to see again—couldn’t see. Yet, every nerve ending came to life, denying me the ability to look away, robbing my legs of their will to escape, making me hyper-sensitive to the rush of adrenaline surging through my veins. As though it had been given renewed energy, my heart thumped against my chest, so hard, it hurt to breathe, the air almost pushing at my lungs to get free, to direct me toward him. And even as I took in his broad shoulders in a black suit and dark shirt unbuttoned at the top, I couldn’t deny his presence. My heart and head tag-teamed against my feelings, bouncing them from one to the other in a battle of will.
“W-what—” the words stuck in my throat.
“Why won’t you take my calls?” He stared at me until I began to tremble because my body was physically powerless to keep upright against the crushing weight of his gaze. He was pouring every inch of emotion into that look, begging, commanding, tender all rolled into one. He took a step forward and I stepped back. “Sia, please.”
“You should leave, Drake. You should go back home. There’s nothing here for you.”
“My home is with you.” Another step. “Whether it’s a ten-bedroom house or a sewer beneath a dumpsite, I don’t care. As long as it’s with you.”
I shook my head. “No. We can never be together—”
“Dammit, princess, would you please give me a chance.” He strode toward me, eating up the ground with his long legs. I had no time to react and he grabbed me around the waist, trapping me against the wall. He cupped my chin with a firm hand and lifted it. Gray eyes, swimming with a chaos of hurt and plea, held mine. “You just asked me to love you harder. I do and I’ll never stop. Just give me a chance to talk. Please.”
“What difference would it make?” I tried to look away. His grip on my chin tightened, keeping it in place. I was annoyed when the tears rolled down my cheek. I’d promised myself not to cry anymore.
“Sia,” my name tripped out on a sigh. He leaned forward, his hold loosening as he kissed my tears. I cried harder. “Please, princess. I can’t see you cry.” He pulled me into his arms, holding me tight and as I tried to accept everything was perfect once more, a tiny niggle warned it would never be so. I squirmed against his embrace, but he refused to let go. “Look at me.” Even in anger, I couldn’t ignore the command in his voice. It hypnotized me always. My gaze met his. “I broke Rayden’s heart. I lied to the people I love. I took advantage of you. I asked you to cheat. I put you into this situation because I was selfish. But what I feel for you, felt since that first kiss, is the only fucking thing that’s right in this world. Don’t take that away from me. I loved you yesterday, I love you today and I’ll love you tomorrow. Give me a chance to show you how much.”
The sincerity in his eyes, in his words, yanked the strings that connected my heart to my head. Logic won. “We can’t.” With my palms flat against his chest, I ignored the frantic beat beneath the hard muscles I knew so well and pushed slightly. He released me. “You should go.” I stepped away, avoiding his gaze.
