“Yet, I can’t have one without breaking the other,” I repeated Drake’s words, surprised that when he’d uttered them, I hadn’t realized it would have such a nasty impact on me too.
“But.” He cupped my chin and lifted. “You can have one.” I blinked my confusion that he would still think it okay for a relationship with either one of them to work.
“I can’t, Rayden.”
“And I can’t lose you.”
His words zeroed in like an arrow to my heart. Only, this wasn’t cupid’s precision aimed marker for two people to fall in love, rather a sick twist of fate once again. Because instead of hating me, the one man I expected never to want to see me again, was right here, right now, asking me to stay.
“You promised me forever.”
“Which meant I promised never to break your heart. And I did.”
“If you did, then why am I still here?”
I had no words because I couldn’t understand why, either. I turned away, praying he’d walk away. “Don’t ask me for something I can’t give you, Rayden,” I sniffled.
“Because in your heart, you know who you want, don’t you? You gave him a piece of your heart, Sianna.”
Slowly, I turned, hoping to find anger, annoyance, or hate on his face, but all I saw was understanding and it made my pain that much more brutal to bear. I shook my head.
He sighed, stepped toward me, and placed his hands on my shoulders, his eyes locked on mine. “I don’t hate you and I never will. Every relationship must begin somewhere for it to end. Unfortunately, ours began before we even knew each other, but it doesn’t have to end.”
He pulled me into a slow hug and I let him. And when the tears fell once more, he let me cry against his chest, caressing my hair, like he would on any other typical day. Sadly, we’d never have another normal day again.
When the tears finally stopped falling and I was too tired to think anymore, I stood back and palmed his cheek. “I’m sorry.”
He covered my hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it softly, then lowered it to his chest. “Do you feel that, Sianna?” The slow thrum of his heartbeat pulsed beneath my fingers. “I’m alive and I will continue to live.” He leaned forward and dropped a soft kiss to my brow. “Don’t deny my father the love he deserves.” Then he was gone, leaving me gaping open-mouthed at the door he’d disappeared through and closed softly behind him.
Drake
FOUR WEEKS AFTER CHRISTMASEve...
“Dad.”
I looked up from the document I was reading to meet the pained expression on my son’s face. My chest tightened. Shame and guilt washed over me. I’d put that look there. I’d turned his mischief smile into a saddened droop. What father did that to his child? My heart ached and my head throbbed like the ravages of an open wound that would never heal. I didn’t expect it to. Everything I’d felt since that moment he slammed out of my study four weeks ago couldn’t compare to this moment right now. I’d been in hell since then. The agony of solitude had swallowed me whole, not willing to spit me out no matter how much I’d begged. But now, staring at my son, the man I’d raised and vowed to cherish for the rest of his life, I was glad it hadn’t.
