“I told her how bad I fucked up. I admitted everything I did to you. The money I took from you and my father. The idiotic decision to film a video and put it on the internet…” Jax rested his elbows on the table, dropping his head into his hands.
“I came clean about how mad I was at her for never being around. Hiding my dad from me because she didn’t want me to resent my grandparents for their decision. Taking you in when she could hardly handle having me. Then she told me everything about how you came to live with us. When we were younger, I pleaded with my mom to let you stay with us, so you didn’t get taken away from me. I was sixteen and not looking too far into the future. I just knew I didn’t want you to leave. Little did we both know there was already a plan. My mom covered it up and made it look like she was doing it to make me happy, when in reality, it was your mom’s last wish.”
So, where the fuck did it all go wrong? I wanted to rip my hair out having to put myself back in the past. A place I mentally never wanted to go back to.
“So, you begged for me to stay with you … then what? Then you got tired of me? I became a liability?” I choked out.
“Nothing was ever wrong with you, Avery. It was me. I was the problem. I was going through my own issues, and I took them out on you. As fucked up as it is, I wanted a slice of both lives—single and free, settled down and comfortable. When we went off to college I got a small taste of freedom. Once we finally moved here, and I was free of my mom, it was almost like I needed to be free from you too. I needed an entirely new life. But…” he rubbed the temples of his forehead before finishing, “once you actually left, I realized what I had lost. I lost the only piece of home that I ever loved. I had a shitty way of dealing with my emotions. I resented you as we got older and I felt stuck. When you left, my mind went to dark places, and I handled it in all the worst possible ways. And now, I know there is nothing I can do about that. I’ve fucked up one time too many. But I want to make it right.”
He wanted to make it right? Make what right?Us?
Panic was written all over my face as I clarified, “There is nothing between us, Jax.”
“I know that. But there is something between you and my dad, that much is obvious.”
“Yeah…” I dragged the word out in shock, not expecting him to mention my relationship with his dad.
“I know it isn’t much, but I found a therapist that I think can help me, and I deleted the video from my personal files. There’s no trace left of it on my end, and with my dad getting it taken down everywhere else, hopefully that means it’s gone for good. I’m sorry I ever did that to you, Avery. I never should have put you in that position just because I wanted a paycheck and some new fancy life for myself. It was selfish as hell, and I completely understand if you never find it in your heart to forgive me.”
Forgiving him was never something that crossed my mind. It wasn’t until I found out that he was Spencer’s son, that I ever thought about having to be around him again. Once he’d fuckedme over, it was easy for me to jump to excommunicating him from my life.
Forget and not forgive.
But things were … different now.
“I … I just don’t know what to say. Or where to go from here.” I shook my head in defeat.
His apology was nice to hear, and even though I hated to say it, it did sound sincere.
“I think the only place you need to go from here is back to my dad. He loves you.”
Our eyes connected, and for a few long seconds, I felt stuck in time as I searched his dark eyes for any trace of deceit.
I’d known Jax for a very long time, and even though the last few years had been a rollercoaster, I knew when he was being honest. And in this moment, his guard had dropped, and he was trying to make it right. He was pushing me into Spencer’s arms where I belonged; no matter how he felt about the situation.
“You’d be okay with me and your dad being together?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. Not that I needed his permission or anything. I just felt the need to gauge where his feelings were.
“It might be a little weird, if I’m being honest. But I think we can both get the life change we’ve been looking for if we allow it. I can have my dad in my life, something I’ve always wanted, and you can truly be happy with someone who will love you back in the way you deserve. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”
A life without Spencer felt like losing a piece of myself I didn’t know I had until I met him a couple of months ago. Walking the streets of Las Vegas, the lights didn’t sparkle the same. They dimmed without him by my side in a way that matched how dark my days had been since I walked away from him.
Not only was Vegas referred to as Sin City, but it was also known as the City of Broken Hearts. A nickname I now understood more than anything.
Even with the hell Jax put me through, he never made me feel the way I had since meeting Spencer. He made me see red through anger and rage, whereas Spencer made my skies brighter.
I cleared my throat.
“Yeah. Yeah, it is,” I finally answered with every bit of honesty.
“When I last talked to him, I told him I’d be returning all the money. To both of you. I want to show both of you that I’m not the person you think I am. I can be better. I will be better.”
I wouldn’t believe it until the money was in my account, but it did seem like he was trying to make a change. Even if right now it was all talk and no action, he appeared to have gone through his own struggles in the last month which led him to this realization.
He planned to pay us back. He talked with his mom and Spencer about what had been weighing on him over the years. He apologized to me, deleted the video, and we could get through a conversation maturely—unlike the last few years.
I wouldn’t go as far as calling Jax a changed man, but he was on his way to a better life if he could stay on the right path.
“Thank you. I can tell you’ve put some thought into all of this. How to make things better.”
