She’d always thought that if Dhillon loved her, it would make her happy. But his confession only made her heart heavy.
Riya had stormed out of Hetal’s room, intending to go anywhere but where she was. She got as far as her bike before she stopped herself. She couldn’t use this as an excuse to not talk to Hetal. No matter how much she dreaded that conversation.
She waited in the lobby until she saw Dhillon leave. Ambrose had left a bit before. She stepped onto the elevator and headed back to the burn unit.
Riya stood outside Hetal’s room, her stomach filling with butterflies. The antiseptic smell of the hospital didn’t help with the nausea that was rising in her stomach. This was Hetal. She’d played with her, fixed her scraped knees, taught her how to defend herself. There was no need for this anxiety. Except that there was.
Maybe she should come back later. Yes. Later.
“I can see you standing there. Come in if you’re coming in,” Hetal called.
Riya had walked into burning buildings with greater ease. She tried to inhale courage from the medicinal air as she stepped into Hetal’s room. “Hey.” She tried to sound casual.
“Hey, yourself. Where the hell have you been?” Hetal demanded.
“Wh—”
“Don’t give me that wide-eyed look! I don’t care what Dhillon said to you. I’ve been here for four days, and you haven’t even come to see how I am. What kind of sister are you?”
“I didn’t think you’d want to see me.” She sounded weak.
“You didn’t think?” Hetal’s eyes bugged out, and then she rolled them, hard. “You were the one who was supposed to be my mentor, and you can’t even be bothered to check on me?” She let out a derisive breath. “Nice.”
“I checked on you. I know your nurse.” Another weak answer. She was full of them today.
“Riya Didi, I swear...” Hetal narrowed her eyes.
“Don’t work yourself up. You’re injured.” Riya put up her hands in surrender. Hetal was right, of course. She’d been a coward. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t think you’d want to see me after all this.”
“Why wouldn’t I want to see you?”
“Because I’m responsible. It’s my fault you’re injured.” Her vision blurred.
Hetal furrowed her brow. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, as much as I hate to admit it, Dhillon was right. Firefighting is dangerous, and I never should have made it sound glamorous or whatever. You had no business running into that fire. You have no experience at all. It was dangerous, and you never would have done it if I hadn’t told you how great it was to save people and be a hero.”
Hetal stared at her in silence, her expression unreadable.
After several moments passed with only the sounds of beeping and slurping machines, Riya spoke. “Say something.”
“I’d like to, but I’m trying to figure what I could possibly say that could have the slightest hope of penetrating your big fat head.” If anything, Hetal was more agitated than before.
“Excuse me?”
“Exactly how much power do you think you have over me?” Hetal leaned toward Riya aggressively. They must have her on some awesome pain meds.
Riya shook her head. “I don’t understand.”
“I’m not an idiot. I know fire is dangerous. I lost my dad in one—or did you forget? I may have only been five, but I have memories of that night. And I remember my dad. Sometimes I think it would be easier if I didn’t remember him. Then I wouldn’t know what I’d lost.” She paused for breath. “You and my dumbass brother think I ran toward the fire without a thought. That’s not true.” She sat up and leaned even closer toward Riya. “I ran toward living beings.I ran to save innocent lives from certain death. Not to be a hero. And the truth is, I don’t think your goal is to be a hero, either. I think you just don’t want to lose anyone ever again.”
“I don’t.”
Hetal nodded. “So why’d you turn in your badge?”
Riya just stared at her for a moment. The words would not come. But when they did, they gushed from her mouth. “I let you down. You’re like a sister to me, and I let you get hurt because all I thought about was myself.”
“That’s not true, and you know it.” Hetal rested back in her bed.
