Instead, I get into my car and drive to Liam’s diner. Liam fucking hates his diner, which means that I canveryeasily see him coming here to “punish” himself.
I talked to Sgt. Michaels earlier today, who informed me that Liam had delivered him his resignation. I begged Michaels to ignore it. I told him just to sit on it and not turn it in until I could talk to Liam. And while Liam might drive him up a wall, Michaels knows the importance of having Liam in his department.
There’s no close parking spot, and I grumble when I have to park a block away and trudge through the ice and snow up to the diner. When I reach it, Tracy smiles at me.
“Hey! A familiar face.”
“Hey, is Liam here?” I ask, well aware that if he is, he’ll have told her to tell me no.
The look on her face immediately tells me he’s here, but she does this odd cover-up and says, “Nope. No. Nada. Haven’t seen him.” Hopefully, she never tries to get away with murder because she’d be getting nowhere with her acting skills.
“Alright, I’ll still order something,” I tell her, and she takes me over to a table. I ease myself into a chair and she holds out a menu, but I wave it away.
“Chef’s choice.”
“I… will let him know,” she says.
Tracy leaves and I settle in before she comes back almost immediately with a plate. From my angle, I can’t quite see what’s on it, but her expression makes me curious.
“Um… here… is your first course?” Even her voice gives away her confusion when she sets down a plate filled with sugar. There’s a basting brush to the side, so I pick it up and dust the sugar away to reveal a paper taped to the plate that says, “Go home or I will call your mother.”
“Do you have a pen?”
“I do,” she says as she hands it over, now more fascinated by what’s happening than anything.
I flip it over and write: You left. I no longer have to do anything you say. If you’re going to be that evil, you don’t deserve Butter.
I dust the sugar back over the paper and send the plate back. It returns in a minute with a single slab of butter on it and no note.
“So ridiculous,” I say as I laugh.
The next time Tracy comes out, it’s with a sandwich and a drink. Obviously, Liam has taken pity on me. It tastes so fucking good that it’s the first meal since the hospital that I eat every bite of.
And then I decide to make my stand. I will sit my ass here until either he comes out or they close for the night… in four hours.
It doesn’t start off too bad. After the first hour of reading on my phone, Tracy comes over with a slice of turtle silk pie with a layer of caramel that just melts in my mouth. And after the second hour, I’m served mint hot chocolate. But by the time the third hour hits, I’m tired and lay my head on the table.
Somewhere between hours three and four, I fall asleep on the table. I feel hands on me and immediately know they’re Liam’s. But now I don’t know what to do and feel panicked about it. If I open my eyes, he’s going to run. And like this… I can be in his presence longer.
I pretend to be asleep when he puts me in the car with the plan that I’ll “wake up” while he’s driving and can’t get away. But I find it impossible to do, fear plaguing me over the fact that he’s going to leave again no matter what I say. Even when the car stops and he picks me up, I don’t move. I know I’m losing my chance to talk to him while he carries me into the house and to our bed that I want to pull him into and snuggle up against him.
“Liam, don’t go,” I beg.
And when I open my eyes, he doesn’t even hesitate as he leaves the room without a word. I roll over and pull the pillow against me, closing my eyes.
Pain stabs into my stomach while I fight the desire to run after him. I need him to decide on his own. I need him towantto be here. I need him to fucking understand.
But it hurts.
It really fucking hurts.
What if I’m wrong? What if my silence is keeping him away? I hurt and I want him to know how much I hurt, but I know that’s not going to make him come back. The only thing that will is Liam realizing that I’m better with him.
I lie in bed, feeling miserable for a while before I walk out to the living room to find that Butter has made his return. He’s sitting on his heating pad and for a brief moment, I think Liam might be home before it dawns on me that he brought Butter back because of what I’d said at the diner.
And why does that make me feel so much shittier?
I was shocked he took the cat, but I decided that he must have been feeling so alone that he took him… and because of what I said at the diner, he brought him back.
