My world is crashing around me. I see people running toward me, but I can’t hear them. The only voice I can hear is Gabriel’s circling through my mind, telling me again and again that it’s okay.
It’s not okay.
It’s not okay.
People crowd around me. They try to take Gabriel from me, but I refuse to let him go. Someone is grabbing me, but Gabriel is bleeding so much. It’s staining my clothes as I guide him into my car and yell at someone to start it. I hold his head when I try to peel the wet clothes off of him so I can warm him up.
“Gabriel, the ambulance is heading here,” I say, but he’s not answering.
My hands are shaking while I cut the wet jacket away with a knife.
“Gabriel. Gabriel, please open your eyes,” I beg.
“Liam, you need to get your wet clothes off too,” Matthew says softly.
“I’m fine,” I snap as I shove him back. He doesn’t ask again, just helps me try to warm up Gabriel. “Where is the fucking ambulance? I’m going to drive him.”
“They’re almost here,” he says. “He’s okay.”
I look up when I hear the sirens and reach up to Gabriel’s face while I cup his cheek and realize I’m rubbing blood over his beautiful face. “The ambulance is here. They’re going to make you all better. They’re going to fix you.”
I kiss his lips softly as I feel tears drip down and splatter on his bloodstained face. I don’t remember the last time I cried… was it when my mother died? Was it when everything inside of me broke, and I thought it was for the final time? I’ve already lost my parents; shouldn’t it be fitting for a monster like me to lose the love of my life as well? Why wouldn’t I deserve this?
“I love you. I love you so much,” I whisper.
The door opens, and Matthew is there holding it while the paramedics reach in for Gabriel.
A part of me doesn’t want to hand him over. I know they’re going to help him in ways I cannot, but the possessive side of me doesn’t want anyone else to touch him because they could hurt him. He looks so pale when he’s pulled out of my arms and onto the gurney, smearing blood as he’s moved. Blood I couldn’t get to stop flowing no matter how hard I compressed it.
My heart is being ripped out of my chest, my stomach is painfully twisted, and my rage is starting to burn out of control. I get out of the car and watch him get loaded into the ambulance. They’re moving so quickly, not wasting even a moment before those doors are shut and the ambulance is moving.
“I know what hospital he’s going to, let’s go,” Matthew says.
“No.”
“What?” he asks, startled.
This is my fault. This ismyfucking fault. I taunted Whitaker. I was so fucking cocky. Icausedthis. I should never be allowed around Gabriel again because everything I love dies. It was my fault. All my fault.
I drive my fist into the side of my car and pain spikes up into my hand, but it doesn’t stop me from punching the car again.
“Stop!” Matthew yells as he grabs me and hauls me off. I elbow him off me, ready to fight the next person who tries to control me.
“This is my fault.”
“It’s not your fucking fault. Now get in the fucking car,” he yells while he tries shoving me in. “Jesse, help me.”
“Paige, this is no one’s fault. How the hell were you supposed to know what was going to happen?” Michaels asks, then turns to Matthew. “Get Paige to the hospital and have him looked over.”
I need to find Whitaker and I need to rip him apart. Tear into him and make him hurt, make him beg, and once he’s on the brink of death, I’m going to watch him slowly bleed out until there’s nothing left of him.
I throw the bag with the ring and the necklace in it at Michaels. “I found this out there before the explosion.”
The door shuts with me crammed inside, and I realize I need to get out. I can’t go to the hospital. I can’t face Gabriel. I spewed lies about keeping him safe, and instead, I nearly got him killed. I should have been better. I wasn’t enough.
“I’m so sorry,” Jesse whispers while Matthew begins to drive. “This is all my fault. I’m just going to come clean with everyone. I’ll tell them every fucking thing that ever happened. I’m so sorry.”
“Stop!” Matthew orders. “Everyone is being rash and letting their emotions control them.”
