The vise on my chest squeezed until it cracked me.
Fen stormed away, walking the length of the railing toward the dam until I could only see his dark silhouette in the gray shadows. His tall shape bent over the railing, and he shouted obscenely into the water.
Frida whimpered at my feet. I crouched down and held her to tell her it was okay. To make me feel better. Then I felt Fen’s hands pulling me up to my feet.
He gripped my shoulders and stared down at me with dark eyes, not saying anything. That was unbearable. His silence.
I wanted to tell him that I was sorry.
For not seeing him before. For screwing up his life. Then for walking back into town and not even recognizing him.
But part of me was angry, too. Andnotsorry. Because I didn’t ask for any of this.
I didn’t ask him to rescue me.
He shook his head over and over, still not saying anything.
His hands dropped to his sides, and I shut my eyes. He was going to tell me this was over—the two of us. No more ghost hunting, no more records. We were not friends. We weren’t even… that word I could never remember. We weren’t doing anything wrong.
We justweren’t.
Then, abruptly, he slipped one arm around me and pulled my body against his chest. He was hugging me? It was so strange and unexpected; I didn’t know what to do. Hug him back?
Before I could decide how to react, he said in a low voice, “This is how I held you in the water.”
I collapsed against him and fell apart.
I wept.
He wept.
And when I couldn’t stand anymore, we crumpled ontothe dark grass, clinging to each other. I held on to him until his T-shirt was a damp mess of makeup and tears. He held on to me until it got so chilly, he put his hands inside the back of my shirt to keep them warm. We held on to each other until Frida’s leash got so tangled around our limbs that she gave up trying to get loose and went to sleep next to me.
But we didn’t do anything wrong.
Not that night.
Unknown number:
Miss Jane, this is Jasmine Sarafian. Miss Norma gave me your number.
I found a nice apartment for us to view.
Pick you up Wednesday at 2PM in front of the lodge?
Jane Marlow:
Oh! Okay, yes. Thank you
I’ll need to check w/ Velvet if I can leave during a workday
You know, for personal business, since I watch her dog/am her PA
But that should be fine?
Jasmine Sarafian:
Tell Velvet Larsen if she has a problem, she can come see me.
