She makes grabby hands for the muffin I stole, so I pass it to her, distracted. She mutters something else about con men and phony TV, but Garrett’s words in my mind drown out her voice.
“Maybe we should at least talk about it,” I say.
Her face freezes mid-chew. A crumb falls from her mouth. “Whaf?”
“But not here.” I gesture to the crew of camera operators only a dozen yards away. “Somewhere private where we won’t be filmed. Although I’m not sure where…”
Seyoon chews thoughtfully. “I have an idea.”
Footnote
1. What’s this about?
18
THIS BATHROOM STALL IS MY SAFE PLACE
SEYOON
“This might be a littletooprivate.”
Dean squirms, but there’s not much room to move when he’s jammed against the stall door. I throw my hands up from where I’m wedged uncomfortably behind the toilet.
“Oh, I’m sorry, your highness. Is this porcelain throne not good enough for you? Besides, can you think of somewhere else where we won’t be overheard or caught on tape?”
He sighs in defeat. Outside of Garrett’s cabin, the bathroom is the only place where we’re allowed to turn our mics off. Hey, you think I’m happy about this? I’m not. This is an awkward enough conversation to have as it is; the toilet in between us isn’t exactly helping. And we can’t just stand next to the sinks. There’s a tiny window in the door—frosted, for privacy—but it’s not worth risking someone walking by and seeing us.
“Let’s just hurry up and talk through our options,” Dean says.
“By options, you mean pretending to be a couple so that Garrett can market us as his star-crossed lovers or whatever and cut himself a big fat check?”
“Look, I’m not saying I like the idea, but he did make a good point. If the others think we’re together like—likethat,our alliancewill be more credible. A united front is a good strategy to have in a game like this. I’ve seen it done before.”
I narrow my eyes and cross my arms. His argument isn’t convincing me, and he knows it.
“Listen. Earlier today, when the others found us… likethatand started thinking we’re a couple, I overheard a few people talking,” Dean tries again. “They’re scared of us. They know we pose a real threat together. But on our own? They think we’re weak.”
The cold from the tile wall against my back runs down my spine. “Weak?” I ask, straightening.
Dean visibly swallows. “They mostly thinkI’mthe weak one. But they also pointed out our rankings in the first challenge.”
At the mention of the first challenge, sticky humiliation slathers over my skin. Everyone saw me fail. Worse:Tryand fail. They knew from that very first moment that I wasn’t good enough.
But I am. I have to be.
I bite the inside of my cheek until the taste of copper overwhelms my senses, distracting me from the shame sloshing around my gut.
Dean visibly swallows, unnerved by my silence. He shifts his weight onto his other foot. Then he takes a step forward, impossibly close in this already-tight stall.
“Seyoon.” Dean says my name like it’s a favor. I crane my neck to meet his gaze. “You’re stronger than me. We know it. That’s the thing; if I wasn’t in an alliance with you, everyone would peg me as an easy target. Because I am. But when I’m with you…” He pushes his hair out of his pink face, turning away. “When I’m with you, I can do things I can’t on my own. Like start a fire. And be thought of assomeone strong. I actually believe I have a real shot at winning when I’m with you.”
My mouth parts. Dean speaks before I can.
“But I know you need to win, too, and you don’t need me for that. Or anyone, really. So…” He breaks off into an awkward laugh. Dean steps back, scratching his neck. “I’m not making a great case for why you should do me this favor, am I?”
A huff of amusement falls from my own lips. “Not really,” I say, but I trail off.
Dean thinks I don’t need him to win? That I don’t needanyone?
