I expected that sentiment to make me feel good about myself. But instead, my stomach drops further. It rings a little too close to what Amelia told me the last time we ever spoke. During our last game being friendsorteammates. I took it as her being bitter. A sore loser. But… but it wasn’tuswho let rivalry get in the way of things. It was me.
I stay mostly still, but it feels like everything inside me is falling into a crack in the earth, leaving only the hollow shell of my body behind. “I…”
I know the real reason I’ve never gone to a slumber party. I know why I was never invited to weekly coffee runs with the gymnastics girls. I know the track team didn’t justforgetto invite me to post-meet hangouts. I know. I alreadyknow.
I’ve prided myself more on being a winner than a teammate.
Dean waits patiently at the other end of the stall, holding his breath while mine leaves me in shallow spurts. He watches me as if I’m some spooked animal, like he’s trying not to startle me into turning him down.
What kind of teammate am I to give him the impression that I don’t need him just as much as he needs me?
I lick my lips and say, “Why do you think I wanted to form an alliance with you?”
Dean blinks. “I assumed for the bonus points. And to stick it to Carter and Garrett.”
“It’s because I wanted to workwith you.” I punctuate my point by stepping forward and tapping his sternum. “The asshole who placed second in Mountain Marathon because he’s smart, and the nerd who’s seen every season ofForest Feud. You’re strong in the ways I’m not.” Suddenly too exposed under Dean’s wide-eyed stare, I cross my arms and shrug. “You’re the expert when it comes to strategy stuff. If you think pretending to be in a relationship will get us ahead of the game, then… I trust you. Let’s play the part, lover boy.”
He huffs in disbelief. “Really?”
“Yeah. Unless this was just an excuse for you to flirt with me?”
He sputters, his face beet red now, and I crack, bursting into laughter.
Dean glares at me. “Do you ever get tired of being such a jackass?”
“No, it comes very easily to me. Much like everything else.”
“Yeah, it does.” He rolls his eyes, but then after a small, quiet moment, he shoots me a smile. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me. This is for me, too. Teammates, right?”
I hold my fist out to him. He bumps it with his own.
With that settled, Dean turns the lock on the door and lets himself out. I follow after, stretching my cramped arms above my head.
“If we’re doing this, we probably need to sell it to the others, right?” I ask his turned back. “Should we consummate the relationship or something?”
Dean whips around with a petrified look on his face. “What?” he squeaks.
19
IF THE PADDLEBOARD’S A-ROCKIN’…
SEYOON
Okay. Apparently,consummatedoesn’t mean what I thought it did.
“I thought that’s what it’s called when you announce a relationship,” I hiss so none of the others around us can hear. “Excuse the hell out ofmefor not knowing what every single word in the English language means. Damn.”
Dean pinches the bridge of his nose. “Can we please stop talking about it?” he whispers.
It’s B-roll day today: a full eight hours of shooting candid footage so viewers can see how we interact outside of challenges. Except, I don’t know how candid it actually is when every scene is carefully scripted. Our first location of the day is the lake, which is where we’re all headed to now, clad in swimsuits and padding barefoot down the grassy knoll. The clip-on mics aren’t waterproof, so we don’t have to wear them, thankfully, but there’s still countless boom mics following us around.
At least until we get in the water.
Dean crosses his arms over his bare chest and steps closer. “Your plan better work, whatever it is.”
“It will. I’m confident.”
