He set the cup down so quickly, it sloshed up over the rim. Then he reached for her to help her sit up, making sure his hands were as gentle as he could make them.
“Careful.” Realizing how gruff he sounded, he cleared his throat and tried again. “Easy, princess. Do you have your pain medication?”
Slowly adjusting her position, Hayley shook her head. “No. I didn’t think I’d need it.”
Setting the cup near her within easy reach, he went into the bathroom and found the painkillers in his medicine cabinet. Bringing them back, he set them next to her cup. “Take these, baby. I know you don’t like the way they make you groggy, but every movement is causing you pain and I can’t bear to see you hurting.”
She swallowed the pills, then took a sip of coffee before looking back at him. Then she averted her gaze, staring down at her cup.
“I came over here to yell at you and give you a piece of my mind and now...”
His heart slammed hard against his chest and he tried so hard to quell the sudden flash of hope that attempted to flutter upward.
“And nowwhat, princess?” he whispered.
Tears filled her eyes and it was all he could do not to haul her into his arms and kiss every single one away.
“I’m so mad at you, Silas,” she said hoarsely.
“Why shouldn’t you be?” he asked bitterly.
“Why didn’t you tell me about Gia? Why didn’t you trust me enough to let me decide whether you were worth the risk? Because you are—were. Why did you never ask me if I thought you were worth everything to me? I would have never left you. Why did you leave me?”
He closed his eyes, his heart hurting so much it felt like he was dying.
“It was never a matter of me not trusting you, princess. It was me I didn’t trust. I failed you over and over. I’ve caused you nothing but pain and misery and I refused to be the reason you died. You deserve so much better than I can ever give you. You’re so beautiful, so precious, so... good. Everything I’m not and everything I’m not worthy of.”
Her eyes grew stormy and she scrubbed furiously at her tears as she glared at him.
“Only I get to say who’s worthy of me and my love,” she said fiercely. “You don’t claim that right, Silas. No one does but me. You understand?”
He blinked at her vehemence.
She closed her eyes, pain and sorrow so evident on her pale features.
“How did we come to this, Silas?” she whispered. “How did we go from being so happy, so perfect for one another, to you sitting so far away and me being so afraid to reach for you? Can you promise me that if I reach out, you’ll meet me halfway? That if I take the risk, it’ll be worth it? That you’ll never throw us away again?”
Her voice cracked on the last word and Silas could stand no more. Not meet her halfway? Oh hell no. He was going all the way. She’d never have to make a single damn move again. He was beside her in an instant, pulling her gently onto his lap until she was cradled in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder. He buried his face in her neck and plunged his hand deep into her silken tresses, gathering the strands until they wrapped around his fingers.
“Never, sweet girl,” he whispered against her neck, feeling her pulse beating wildly against his lips. “Never again will you doubt my absolute love and adoration for you. My devotion and commitment to you. You are everything to me, princess. My life, my world, my reason for living. You will never know how sorry I am for the hell I’ve put you through, but if you’ll give me the chance, I’ll spend my life making it up to you.”
He rubbed up and down her back as her tears soaked into his T-shirt.
“Seeing Thane’s sister lying there on the pavement, all I could see in my mind was you. That could’ve happened to you, and I’d rather die than have that happen. I panicked. I just wanted you safe and I thought pushing you away was best. I was wrong, princess. So fucking wrong. You are the best thing that’s ever come into my life and I was a fool to let you go. I love you, Hayley. I thought by watching Drake and Evangeline I knew what love was. But again I was wrong. This feeling... God, baby. It’s worth fighting for. Worth dying for. Please give me a chance to prove it.”
Hayley lifted her head and stared deeply into his eyes, and he was humbled by what he saw so clearly reflected in hers. Love. Forgiveness. Understanding.
“I never stopped loving you, Silas. I tried. God knows, I tried. I’m so scared. I’m terrified. But I want to try. But only with you. Always with you. I’ll never love anyone else but you.”
Silas squeezed his eyes shut to hide the betraying tears as Hayley lowered her face to nuzzlehisneck this time.
“Living with me won’t be easy.” His voice was gruff again but he didn’t care. “With my control issues, combined with the dangers surrounding my job, you’ll never have a normal life. Are you sure you want to sign up for that?”
“Fuck normal,” she answered with a watery laugh. “What has normal ever brought us anyway?”
“Not a damn thing,” Silas murmured against her lips.
40
