“Everything bad in my life can be laid at your feet, Cas Jackson. The moment my husband is in the ground, I never want to see you again.”
I expect Cas to come back at her, but we’re met with silence until he nods and walks out.
“That goes for all of you,” she continues. “Especially, you!” This is aimed at Leo, and he huffs.
“You’re my kid’s grandmother, Kristen, it’s not likely to happen is it?”
“I’m pretty sure something can be arranged. I have never been so serious in my life.”
“Yeah, I get that.”
There’s a knock at the door and Mason sticks his head in. “Slade’s here.”
Sebastian runs through the hall. “Grandpa!” The excitement in his voice chokes me.
Pushing past my brothers, I rush outside and my son is frozen on the front lawn. Staring at the coffin in the back of the hearse, tears stream down his cheeks, and I swallow hard before going over to him.
“Mason said grandpa was here,” he sobs.
Dropping to my knees, I meet him eye to eye. “You remember we told you grandpa went to Heaven?” He nods and I continue, “I wouldn’t lie to you, son. Today we’re going to say our goodbyes and then…”
And then what? What the fuck do I tell him?
“Dad?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you going to die?”
His innocence is out of a pure place, and I’ll not shatter him today.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
I stand and take hold of his hand. “Do you want to ride on my bike with me?”
For the first time in the last few days, life lightens his eyes. “Like Grandpa?”
I nod and muster a smile. “Yeah, just like Grandpa.”
“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Nina asks.
“We won’t be riding fast, or far,” I point out.
Mom steps out of the house and though a fresh wave of grief visibly hits her, she keeps her chin up and her back straight as she walks toward the hearse. Placing her hand on the glass, her shoulders bob under her sobs. Nina rushes to her side while the rest of the old ladies hang back. They all know my mom well enough that she won’t want any of their support. Nina is family and over the last few years, they’ve bonded, especially after Sebastian was born.
Nina leads her to the town car, and I risk a glance at my father’s coffin and swallow the grief till later. Shane and Dex’s hearses are in front of Dad’s and I take in all the brothers ready to ride with us. The old ladies walk back to the cars and Nina sticks with Mom.
“Come on, son.”
Brothers mount their motorcycles, and I swing Sebastian up and settle him in front of me. I instruct him where to keep his feet and where to hold on to. My boy listens to every word.
He looks around, taking in everyone and everything around us. “I’m going to be like you, Dad. I’m not gonna cry.”
If possible, hearing my son’s words hurt more than losing anyone in my family.
“Hey, it’s okay if you want to cry. You love Grandpa, you’re gonna miss him. It’s okay to be sad about it.”
“You don’t cry.”
