I step back and tell him, “Mom walked into another door.”
He hears the sarcasm in my voice and nods before frowning at Lily over the top of my head.
“Lily,” he says sternly.
“Slade,” Mom mimics him.
“Babe, why don’t you take the kids in. I bet Harper’s hungry after such a long drive.”
“Sure, come inside, darling.”
I can hear Mom rolling her eyes, and I hear her say, “I do feed my kid, brother.”
“You also let another guy smack you around, too.”
“It wasn’t like that,” she defends herself.
“No? How’d you come by the black eye?”
Mom sighs dramatically. “Can we stay a few days until I can sort something out? Or are you just going to grill me?”
Slade shoos me inside and closes the front door, blocking out the adult conversation.
“Harper, come in here, I've got some cookies while you wait for dinner.”
Uncle Slade’s house is home, yet I've never stayed longer than a few weeks at a time.
I look over to where JJ is stood between my dad and Leo. He's my home now and has been for years. He's my only remaining constant. I could cry just at the thought of losing him. It could have easily have been Jay who was gunned down. My leg shakes, and my hands tremble. I can’t sit here any longer, I can’t watch my uncle be lowered into his grave. His eternal resting place. I stand and everyone looks at me. I know how funerals go, I don’t need to stay. I excuse myself and walk back to the bikes, scoping out JJ’s motorcycle. He follows behind and holds my hand while I straddle his ride.
“I can’t deal, it’s too much.”
Hot tears fall and I angrily wipe them away.
“I know, babe.” He moves closer and wraps his arms around me.
I let the tears free and bury my face into my husband’s chest. The leather is soft against my skin, and I inhale the scent to help calm me. Sometimes I wonder how much closer I can get to him, but nothing could ever feel close enough.
After a while, he climbs on his bike behind me and keeps his arms around me.
“Did you take your meds this morning?” he asks.
Frowning, I admit, “I can’t remember.”
“I’ll count them when we get home.”
I wait for him to lecture me about missing my meds, but it doesn’t come. The last few weeks are a blur, and I can’t seem to pinpoint the last time I can remember something with clarity.
“After today everyone here will go on with their lives. They'll think less and less about Slade,” I murmur.
“The people who matter won’t,” he assures me. “You’ve seen for yourself how the old timers have kept Oak alive for decades. How we all keep India alive, Pope and Ricky too. We'll do the same with your uncle, Dex and Shane.”
I hear the words, but I don’t feel them in my heart. When my mom died, I could still see the future, I knew that at some point I would start to breathe a little easier as each day passed. I can’t see any of that after Slade. He was a good man, too good sometimes. He never hurt anyone unless it was necessary. He was a provider and a protector, and no one was there to protect him when he needed it the most.
“You know, when Leo and I were growing up, our dads would tell us stories about the good old days, how they rode fast, shot straight, and lived free as men should be. Before they met our moms, they lived solely for the freedom, cash, and the women, but they knew the cost of that life was going down in a blaze of glory with bullets chasing them.”
“I’ve heard the stories too, but he wasn’t carefree and single anymore. He was married and had a family, he had less years to live than he had already experienced. He had no business with bullets.”
“Babe, Slade wouldn’t have wanted to leave his family, but he died protecting you all, the club. I promise you the only thought he would have had at the time, would have been to make sure if anyone was hit, it was him and not Zachery.”
