I had yet to read the letter Cora left me, but that was only because my attention had been on work and making sure Celeste was good mentally. Celeste wouldn’t say it, but part of her still felt like Cora was all she had in this life. I didn’t take offense, because in a sense, it was true. Before Allen or I came into the picture, it had been the two of them for Celeste’s entire life. They’d gone through the toughest times together and those memories outweighed everything that came after.
“You saying that makes me feel better about the situation. I keep playing different scenarios in my head about how our first meet up will go. I’ve thought about good and bad outcomes. I’m in my thirties and about to have a baby of my own. I don’t like fearing the unknown.”
“That’s normal. Now watch, none of the scenarios you thought will be how any of this plays out. I think the only reason Cora left you his information is because she knows deep down, he loves you. If he was just some nigga from around the way, she would’ve taken that information to the grave with her.” I stated.
“That makes sense. Jade said the same thing when I talked to her. I just hate that she had to pass away for me toget his information. Surely, me and my father could’ve had a relationship that she didn’t have to be a part of.”
“Like I told you before, I think people do what they think is best at the moment. A lot of the time it’s not until later in life when you reflect that you realize your mistakes. I’m not tryna compare apples to oranges but think about your decisions. Have you ever made a choice then later realized you should’ve handled the situation differently?”
“I have.”
“Exactly. We all have. I’m not saying your mother was right about keeping you from your dad, but you have to really look at her point of view. From the outside lookin’ in, you’re only seeing your mother’s selfishness in the situation. Take a moment and really try to place yourself in your mother’s shoes. At the end of the day, her feelings were valid. She loved a man who didn’t love her back and she was hurt. She was living her truth by being upset at the situation and you just so happened to feel the effects of her decision. It’s fucked up that it happened that way, but all we can do is move on from here. I’m not saying move on as in get over it, but let’s not dwell on the past and focus on what we can do from here. Being stuck in your mother’s past won’t do anything for Celeste’s future. Cora loved the hell out of you at the end of the day, and you know that.”
This was the part of Celeste I had to be delicate with. Often, I felt like we had the same conversation in different ways. Celeste had deeply rooted insecurities, and rightfully so. The two people who were supposed to love her had made choices that made her question her self-worth. She didn’t take the time to realize none of this shit was her fault. She had no say in any of her childhood trauma. My baby was a boss who ran her own business and did that shit well. I wanted her to look in the mirror one day and see the person I saw. Flaws and all, she was beautiful inside and out.
Celeste and I continued our conversation, switching the topic to baby names. We were laughing at something she said when I heard loud voices coming from downstairs. I knew good and well my parents didn’t yell at one another, even behind closed doors. Growing up, I’d never heard my dad take an elevated tone with my mother. Knowing that, I urgently stood from the bed and headed toward the stairs to hear better. When it registered that the voices were coming from my father and Deontay, I damn near lost my mind. I’d given this nigga too many chances and all that shit ended today. Deontay and his fucked-up daddy could get this work for all I cared. Ignoring Celeste calling my name, I descended the stairs with my focus on Deontay’s ass.
“Yo, what the fuck you doin’ at my parents’ crib?”
As usual, Deontay was dripped in designer from head to toe. A huge Cuban link danced around his neck along with a massive Jesus piece. His eyes were low, so I knew he was high, and I was about to knock his ass right out of euphoria.
“Nigga, I’m here to tell your dad he needs to call his lawyer! The feds just picked my dad up from the shop in front of all of his customers because of him!” he spat as he pointed at my dad.
“You can get the fuck out because he ain’t callin’ nobody. Did your bitch ass daddy tell you that he set my pops up? All because he wanted to be greedy. The nigga had his own damn brother thrown behind bars on some jealous shit. My pops was too much of a real nigga for his ass. Tell that man to call his own damn lawyer,” I spat back, my blood now boiling.
Running his tongue across his teeth and smiling devilishly, Deontay spoke a truth of his own.
“Shane…every time I’m anywhere near you it rattles the fuck out of your nerves. What? You still mad about the Mia situation or somethin’?”
“Seeing you and Mia together don’t mean shit to me. I don’t trust either of you muthafuckas, so you can have her!”
“Oh, I had her… Ibeenhad her. You think you were the only one flying across the country to see her? Why do you think she left in the first place, cuz? I’m sure she told you it was because of her modeling, but that was a half lie. The day she called and told me she was pregnant, I flew to New York and she told me she wasn’t keepin’ it because she wanted to be with you. You were never supposed to find out about the baby but I’m glad you did. You and your dad act like y’all can’t be touched. You niggas act like y’all are above all and y’all aren’t. Your dad got his ass sat down by his big brother and me…I fucked your bitch and got her pr?—”
Before he could finish his statement, I threw a right hook with all my might and connected with his jaw. I knew I’d broken it when I heard it crack, which only fueled me. My parents and Celeste screaming in the background became static as I tuned them out and went in on this nigga. All the pent up anger I’d held inside for years all came out on this nigga’s face and chest. I was so focused on making sure I kept swinging that I couldn’t tell if he was fighting back or not. It wasn’t until his body slammed to the ground that I came back to reality. Not thinking about anything but causing him pain, I kicked the shit out of his chest and stomped on him until my dad successfully removed me from over him.
“Shane, stop, you’re gonna kill him,” Celeste screamed from the staircase.
Remembering she’d just told me she was carrying my baby, I calmed myself and focused on controlling my breathing. When I looked at Deontay, he was still tossing and turning in pain. In seconds, memories of my father being locked up for half of my life crossed my mind and I knew I had to chill. There was no way I would leave Celeste to take on her pregnancy alone. I wouldn’t be behind bars when my baby was born over a nigga like Deontay.
“Deontay, you got about five seconds to get up and get the fuck out of my house before I call the police on your ass,” my dad said as he stepped in front of my mother.
“I ca…I can’t get up. Call an ambulance… I need help,” he cried in pain.
Roughly, my dad grabbed his arm and stood him up, just to push him out of the door. He looked on for a few minutes until Deontay was able to drive away. Looking at Celeste, now sitting on the steps crying with her head in her hands, I walked over and sat next to her. My anger was still in the front seat and I had no clue if Deontay’s bitch ass would circle back with the laws. I’d let my anger get the best of me without thinking about the trouble I could’ve possibly brought to my dad. He wasn’t released on parole or probation, but having a domestic case at his address wasn’t cool.
“My bad, Pops. I shouldn’t have done all that. I was just pissed that he came over here on bullshit. He was too comfortable stepping in here and making threats,” I expressed.
“It’s cool, son. Hell, it would’ve been me beating his ass if you hadn’t come down when you did. Everything will be cool. I’m about to call the lawyer and let her know what happened. I doubt he’ll be back over here anytime soon. Take Celeste upstairs. The last thing she needs is to be stressed.” He winked.
Had the moment not been so tense, I would’ve called my mom out on opening her mouth about the pregnancy. I wasn’t at all surprised since my parents were best friends and my mother told my dad everything. Having their first grandchild was surely a secret she wouldn’t keep. If she could scream it from the mountain top, I was sure she would.
CHAPTER 22
Celeste
Nervously, I twirled my fingers around each other as I sat in the booth and waited impatiently. I’d only been at the restaurant ten minutes but my anxiety made it feel more like ten hours. I wasn’t sure what to expect when he walked through the door, let alone how to calm my nerves. For the past six months, I’d been debating about reaching out to Phillip. Two weeks ago, I found the courage to make the call. Like my mother said in the letter, if my grandmother’s number was still in service, I’d have a way to contact my father. She was right. When the woman I now knew as my grandmother answered the phone, she thought I was playing a prank on her when I told her who I was and who I was looking for. Velma had become so emotional that she’d shed tears for the first few minutes of our conversation. When she finally gave me my dad’s number, it took a few minutes for me to follow through.
I assumed Velma called him before I did since he answered after the first ring. Hearing his voice for the first time had tears falling from my eyes. When he questioned me about how I’d found him, I informed him about my mother. There was a long stretch of silence after I told him she’d passed away. From thetone of his voice after hearing that, I felt as if he had a few regrets. From that day forward, we’d talked daily until this point. Phillip flew in today and was on his way here, straight from the airport. Just in case anything went left and I wasn’t comfortable, I chose to meet him in public rather than giving him my address.
